How to Have Phone Sex: 7 Tips for Great Phone Sex

Phone sex is a sex-oriented phone conversation during which both partners typically masturbate. When the term was first used in the early 1980s, it mainly referred to commercially available pre-recorded audio messages. Today, phone sex can refer to a wide range of communication, including phone calls with a lover or professional phone sex operator, sexting, and video chat. Couples in long-distance relationships (LDR) may rely on phone sex to find intimacy and keep the physical part of their relationship alive.

Phone sex is unique for every couple and should reflect your and your partner’s interests and boundaries. If you’re just getting started, here are a few phone sex tips.

1. 1. Ask for consent. Even if you’re not physically touching each other, phone sex is still a sexual activity, so make sure you get your partner’s enthusiastic consent before sending nudes or engaging in any sexy talk. It’s important to learn and respect your partner’s boundaries, including when they are and aren’t available for phone sex.
2. 2. Set the mood. Get comfortable by making sure your space is completely private and free from distractions. Imagination is key to the best phone sex, and it’s a lot easier to activate when you’re not distracted or stressed. That means turning off notifications on the device you’re using, locking the door, lighting a candle, and making sure you have your favorite sex toys, lube, and anything else you might need close at hand.
3. 3. Don’t skip the foreplay. Find a way to work foreplay into your phone sex routine. Asking “What are you wearing?” is such a classic line that it’s become a cliché, but slowly narrating exactly where you are and what you’re doing is a great way to activate your partner’s imagination. Another way to build anticipation is to send your partner a few sexy texts during the day, building up to a longer phone sex session at night. (Make sure you get your partner’s consent before messaging them during working hours.)
4. 4. Start with audio-only. Use headphones so that you can be completely hands-free. Start with some sexy storytelling, then introduce moans and heavy breathing as you both masturbate and eventually orgasm.
5. 5. Get creative with video. Video adds an exciting dimension to phone sex. You and your partner can take turns undressing. Just as with in-person sex, it can be fun to switch positions, offering your partner different views of your body and stimulating yourself in different ways.
6. 6. Share a fantasy. There are many ways to introduce fantasy to your phone sex experience, from simple dirty talk to role play to describing elaborate scenarios together. Hearing the specific things your partner wants to do with you can activate your imagination. If roleplaying or building a fantasy from scratch isn’t in the cards, you can always bring up a past shared sexual experience to get the ball rolling (“Remember that time when we…”).
7. 7. Read erotica together. If you and your partner enjoy reading erotica, listening to audio erotica, or watching porn, try incorporating that into your phone sex routine. Reading or listening to erotica is also a great way to open up your phone sex vocabulary.

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