How to Safely Use Handcuffs During Sex in 5 Steps

Anyone who wants to ease into the world of BDSM play, power play, or bondage may find that sex-friendly handcuffs are a kinky but non-intimidating way to get started. Here is a guide to using handcuffs during sex.

1. 1. Choose the right pair of handcuffs. First-timers—or even experienced cuff-users—should choose the most comfortable handcuffs from the many options on the market. Buy a pair of handcuffs that are meant to be used as sex toys, like adjustable buckle cuffs or stretchy silicone cuffs. Rope cuffs with sliding knots are also a good introductory option because you can wriggle your wrists to loosen them if they become too tight in the midst of sex. Metal handcuffs can cut up your risks and you may lose the key, so it is best to refrain from using them.
2. 2. Establish boundaries and choose a safe word. It's important to have an open dialogue with your partner about what activities you're comfortable with, especially in bondage play. Prior to sex, agree on a safe word that the cuffed person can say when their partner crosses a boundary. You can even choose two safe words—one that indicates the dominant partner should stop immediately, and another that indicates that they can continue but are approaching a boundary.
3. 3. Select a position. There are a number of positions that allow you to experiment with handcuffs. Before sex, discuss which positions you're both comfortable with so that you can ensure each option is comfortable. One of the most simple positions is to cuff the bottom partner to your bedpost while they lay on their back with their hands over their head.
4. 4. Put on the cuffs. When you attach the cuffs to your partner or have the cuffs attached to you, they should be tight enough so they don't slip off easily but not so tight that they injure the cuffed person’s wrists. Your partner’s comfort is the most important thing to keep in mind.
5. 5. Tease your cuffed partner. Handcuffs allow you and your partner to experiment with foreplay in a new way because your partner will want to touch you but their handcuffs prevent them from acting on their urges. You can handcuff your partner to a bed or a chair and give them a lap dance, or engage in a masturbation session. You can also blindfold your partner, tease their erogenous zones, perform oral sex on them, or stimulate them with a vibrator.

Here are a few sex positions to try with handcuffs.

1. 1. Cuffed missionary: In a cuffed missionary position, the cuffed partner lies on their back with their hands over their head with their wrists handcuffed to the bedpost. To restrain the cuffed partner even further, try cuffing their ankles to the bed's legs.
2. 2. Cuffed doggy style: In cuffed doggy style, the cuffed partner starts on their bed on all fours, and has both wrists cuffed to the bedpost. Make sure that the partner is comfortable. Consider adding a pillow under their head for extra support.
   
3. 3. The ankle grab: This position requires a little more flexibility. In this position, the receiving partner lies on their stomach, bends their legs up towards their back, and reaches both hands backwards behind their ankles. Next, attach the handcuffs to their wrists so that their hands are secured behind their ankles. With the receiving partner cuffed in place, the dominant partner can slide between the receiver's legs and prop themselves on top of the receiver to penetrate them from behind.
4. 4. Standing sex: For standing sex with handcuffs, you need a high-up hook or towel bar attached to the wall. Have the cuffed partner stand up with their arms over their head and handcuff them to the hook or rod. To arouse your partner before sex, tease them with cunnilingus or a blow job as you continue to explore their body with your hands.

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