How to Give a Lap Dance: 5 Tips for Lap Dancing

A lap dance is a type of erotic dance where the dancer performs a series of sexual moves sitting on the lap of another person in order to arouse them. Lap dancing is commonly associated with strip clubs and exotic dancers, but anyone can perform a lap dance for their sexual partner as an exciting lead-up to sex. There are no rules dictating what a dancer should wear during a typical lap dance, what music they should play, or what dance moves they should do—only that you should go into your dance feeling the sexiest you can feel.

Whether it’s your first time giving a lap dance or you’re a seasoned pro, you’ll want to follow these five tips.

1. 1. Get out of your head. Prepare for your first lap dance by checking in with yourself and making sure that you feel as sexy and comfortable as possible. A lap dance performance may make you feel vulnerable if this is your first time performing. A lap dance is a great way to make yourself feel powerful, and remind yourself how much your partner wants you.
2. 2. Assemble a sexy playlist. Assemble a playlist of songs that makes you feel sexy and powerful, whether it’s full of downbeat sensual songs, or upbeat songs that you can dance to. The length of your lap dance is up to you, but six to eight minutes is a good target for beginners—this is about the length of two to three songs. After you choose your two to three lap dance songs, add another hour of sexy songs to your playlist. This way you won't suddenly experience silence when your lap dance ends (and you start having sex with your partner).
3. 3. Pick out a seductive outfit. Your lap dance outfit should make you feel sexy and confident, whether that’s a form-fitting garment, high heels, lingerie, or something with plenty of fabric that will make a striptease reveal more dramatic. If you go the striptease route, just make sure you wear enough layers so you have some items to remove.
4. 4. Practice a few lap dance moves. Practice a few simple bits of choreography that you can incorporate into lap dance, like body rolls (when you roll your body in a wave starting at your shoulders, down to your hips), figure eights (where you swivel your hips in a figure-eight motion), and rubbing your body to highlight the parts your partner is turned on by.
5. 5. Set the mood. Dim the lights, light some candles, and set up a comfortable place for your partner to sit during your performance. If you choose a chair, you can grip the armrests for balance when grinding on your partner, while a couch lets you straddle them on your knees.

Follow these simple steps to give your partner a good lap dance.

1. 1. Set the ground rules. To make the lap dance properly effective, you want to set ground rules that will allow for a build-up of anticipation. For example, let your partner know that they can’t touch you until the dance has ended.
2. 2. Build up the suspense. Start your routine from across the room from your partner, which will allow you to build up suspense as you dance closer to them. If you're planning to do a striptease, remove an article or two of clothing before you get closer to your partner. Slowly circle around them and run your hands down their chest and thighs before you get into position over their lap.
3. 3. Sit on your partner's lap and gyrate your hips. Once you’ve gotten close enough to your partner, straddle their knees while facing them while making direct eye contact for intimacy. This is where you can try out the moves you practiced. Don’t allow your partner to touch you yet, but show them where you want them to touch you when they’re eventually allowed. From here, you can stand up and turn around, showing off your body.
4. 4. Face away from your partner and sit back on their lap. Start to sit back down, using the chair armrests or your partner's knees to support yourself as you gyrate over them in a squatting position. Feel free to reach back with one hand and grab the back of your partner's neck to pull them closer or tease them with a passionate kiss. Whenever you feel ready to have them touch you, give them the go-ahead and allow the dance to evolve into making out, cuddling, or sex.

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