How to Initiate Sex: 6 Ways to Initiate Sex With a Partner

Whether you want to get more comfortable initiating sex in your long-term relationship, or you're ready to have sex with a new partner for the first time, remember there must always be consent before engaging in any sexual activity. Consider these ways to invite your partner to the bedroom:

1. 1. Lower the stakes. If you initiate sex and your partner is not in the mood, don’t take it personally. Talk with a trusted friend or sex therapist about any anxiety you feel around initiating sex, and work to build your confidence.
2. 2. Plan ahead. Building anticipation for sexual activity is not only exciting, but it can prepare your partner for your advances. Let your partner know that you're thinking about them by sending a low-pressure sext at an appropriate time, leave a note for them, schedule a date night, or whisper some dirty talk in their ear.
3. 3. Make time for foreplay. Take foreplay seriously. Invest in your partner's arousal—and your own—by setting the mood. Light some candles, play relaxing music, and offer your partner a massage, cuddles, or other form of intimacy that they enjoy.
4. 4. Use props. Sometimes introducing a sexy prop can get the ball rolling. Ask your partner if they want to see your new lingerie, or shop online for sex toys together.
5. 5. Be specific. Tell your partner how sexy they are, what you like about them, and what exactly you want to do in the bedroom—or elsewhere. Novelty can also be a big turn-on, so try asking your partner if they want to try a new sex position or toy.
6. 6. Communicate. Talk to your partner about sex to feel safer and more connected in your relationship. Try making a yes/no/maybe list to explore you and your partner's sexual desires and boundaries. You can ask them exactly how they like to be seduced. Some people prefer touch, while others like verbal communication. Maybe your partner wants more time to get aroused and plan for sex, or maybe they appreciate a spontaneous quickie. Sometimes just talking about sex can be a turn-on.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).