How to Get Turned On: 7 Ways to Get in the Mood for Sex

Sexual arousal, or the feeling of being "turned on," involves both physical and mental processes. When your body is in an aroused state, blood flow to your clitoris or penis may increase, causing that area to enlarge and become more sensitive. Erogenous zones, such as the nipples, may also become more sensitive. Physical arousal happens when you experience sexual desire or feel in the mood for sex or sexual activities. It's possible to experience spontaneous desire that seemingly comes out of nowhere, but arousal is generally a responsive desire that can be triggered by a stimulus.

If you want to engage in sexual activity, either with yourself or a partner, try these arousal-inducing activities to set the mood.

1. 1. Take the pressure off. Set a gentle intention to get aroused, and open yourself up to sexual possibility. If you're feeling worried about something, especially your sex drive, it can be hard to get in the mood. Try journaling, breathing exercises, or meditation to manage your stress before trying to masturbate or have sex with a partner.
2. 2. Listen to music. Putting together a sexy playlist of songs that make you feel confident and relaxed is a great way to prepare for masturbation or partner sex.
3. 3. Create mood lighting. Warm, incandescent bulbs can create a relaxing atmosphere. Dim or turn off overhead lights, cover lightbulbs with lamp shades or fabric, or light candles to create a sexy ambiance.
4. 4. Prioritize self-care. Caring for yourself can help you connect with your body and enter a more relaxed state of mind. Practice wellness by taking a candlelit bubble bath, engaging in a hobby, or working out. Another example is rubbing lotion on your body, which can easily transition into self-massage—one of the best types of solo foreplay.
5. 5. Explore sex toys. The use of vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, or other sex toys can lead to arousal. Try turning a vibrator on and feeling the vibration with a finger, or apply lube to a toy and rub it on your inner thigh to get aroused.
6. 6. Read erotica. Reading erotic literature (or sexts from a partner) can lead to arousal, especially if you find your mind wandering while massaging yourself. You can also try listening to audio porn, which allows you to close your eyes and use your hands to caress your body.
7. 7. Look in the mirror. For a person with a vulva, a handheld mirror is one of the best ways to get to know your own anatomy and explore your arousal triggers. Seeing your own body in the mirror can also be a huge turn-on. Check yourself out in the mirror and touch parts of your body that feel good, or give yourself a gentle head or neck massage.

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