Science & Tech, Wellness
Rewire Relationships to Last with Attachment Theory
Lesson time 01:19:12 min
The secret to lasting love isn’t chemistry. It’s understanding your patterns. You’ll identify those patterns, spot red flags early, end recurring conflict, create real emotional safety, and build the kind of deep, lasting connection you’ve always wanted.
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Topics include: Introduction The Pre-Verbal Origins of Emotional Safety The Cost of Disrupted Connection So How Do We Become More Secure? Meet the Four Attachment Styles Maya & Ethan: Early Dating Jonah & Alex: The First Big Trip Mark & Lena: A Stable Marriage The Power of Secure Love
Rewire Relationships to Last With Attachment Theory
Neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine teaches you the science behind why relationships break down and shares the secret to fixing them for good.
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[SHEARS SNAP, WIRES CREAK, BOARD WHOOSHES] [PROJECTOR WHIRRING, MELODIC FEEDBACK] So to me, a sign that a relationship is in trouble, from an attachment perspective, is that you're thinking about it too much. Because if you really understand attachment logic, relationships are not meant to preoccupy us. Maybe you obsess about a one-word text message, or you come up with wild stories about what you did wrong after you get ghosted, or you're constantly worried about what your partner is doing when you're not around. The reasons why the relationship didn't work are oftentimes all in front of you. You don't need any more information. If you understand attachment and attachment logic, you will see why the relationship didn't work. I used to think that love conquers all, and what it meant to me at the time was, if someone doesn't want to be with me, or someone is not close enough to me, that they just don't love me enough. And it's also perpetuated by a lot of rom-coms and other stuff on the media. But that's not what the science says. As a neuroscientist and psychiatrist, I wrote Attached to make relationships make sense. And in this class, I'll teach you to spot patterns that shape every relationship you have. So the basic premise behind attachment-- and that was the brilliance of John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory-- is that it was his idea that attachment is a basic need, just like food and water. It's the basic mechanism to make sure that we feel safe and protected. If we don't feel that immediate connection or that attachment tug between us, we will feel a grave danger. It's basically about survival. If you're not paying attention to me, I'm not going to be safe. When I heard that, everything clicked into place for me. At the time, I was actually going through a breakup. I was in pain and I was suffering, and I was searching for answers. And there they were, all these answers. And that's when I reached out to my childhood friend Rachel. And when we were looking at the data and we were looking about all this information, it was all buried in scientific literature. None of it was translated or approachable to people. So when Rachel and I wrote Attached, basically we had to excavate all of that information and make it something that people can use in their everyday life. Attached sold over three million copies worldwide. It was translated to more than 42 languages. And my second book is Secure, and I hope it will be just as helpful, if not more, than Attached. One of the reasons that Attached resonated so much with so many people is because of the case studies and the pop culture references in the book. And we're going to include that also in this class. These stories and case studies are composites. They were taken from common patterns and experiences of various people that I know. I changed the names and details to protect people's privacy. But what's important is that the concepts and lessons are true. So this will really help you naviga...
About the Instructor
The secret to lasting love isn’t chemistry. It’s understanding your patterns. Columbia psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine teaches you why the same dynamics keep showing up in your relationships and exactly how to change them. You’ll identify your attachment style, spot red flags early, end recurring conflict, create real emotional safety, and build the kind of deep, lasting connection you’ve always wanted.
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Dr. Amir Levine
Neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine teaches you the science behind why relationships break down and shares the secret to fixing them for good.
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