Words of Affirmation Love Language: How to Affirm Your Partner

Words of affirmation is one of the five love languages; people whose primary love language is words of affirmation value when their significant other expresses love via written and spoken words. If this is your love language, regular communication with your partner is likely essential for feeling validation and security in your relationship. To make you feel affirmed, your partner should encourage and express positivity and love with their messages. A heartfelt thank you card or offering a meaningful compliment are ways to share words of affirmation.

If your partner responds to words of encouragement, here are a few examples of positive words you can say to express affection:

1. 1. “I appreciate it when you. . .”
2. 2. “I love you.”
3. 3. “I was impressed when you. . .”
4. 4. “It meant so much to me when you. . .”
5. 5. “I’m proud of you.”
6. 6. “Thank you for. . .”
7. 7. “You inspire me.”
8. 8. “You look great today.”

You can use words of affirmation in several ways, ranging from small gestures to grand proclamations. To affirm your partner, try the following:

1. 1. Communicate frequently. People with the words of affirmation love language value communication, so sending text messages throughout the day to check in is an excellent way to show you care.
2. 2. Give a compliment. Complimenting someone is an easy, subtle way to encourage them.
3. 3. Pen thank you notes. Show your appreciation by writing a thank you card or other small note and leaving it somewhere your partner can find, like stuck to the bathroom mirror or a kitchen cabinet. Leaving notes is a subtle way to show your love.
4. 4. Share heartfelt statements. Communicate your love and feelings for someone by simply telling them how much you appreciate them or care for them.
5. 5. Write love letters. Sometimes it’s hard to express love verbally, so love letters are a sweet way to show your feelings without saying how you feel out loud.

If words of affirmation are your love language, you may want your partner to encourage you verbally more often. Follow these steps to ask for more words of affirmation:

1. 1. Be open and honest. It is essential to communicate your needs in the relationship openly. Tell your partner that words of affirmation make you feel good, and encourage them to share kind words frequently.
2. 2. Practice gratitude. When you receive words of affirmation, respond with gratitude to show your partner how grateful you are. This demonstrates to your partner that words of affirmation are an excellent way to show love.
3. 3. Talk about love languages. Explain the concept if your partner is unfamiliar with the different love languages and identify your partner’s primary love language. Talking about the five love languages will help your partner understand your specific needs and why they may be different from their own.

Dr. Gary Chapman—who first hypothesized the theory of different love languages in his best-selling book, The 5 Love Languages—defines a love language as the particular way you receive and express love in your relationships. Love languages exist in all types of relationships, including those with your significant other and loved ones such as family and friends. When receiving love, you usually have one preferred, primary love language, though you may respond to more than one. The five different love languages include:

1. 1. Acts of service: The acts of service love language centers on doing activities that make life easier or more enjoyable for the other person, such as running errands, picking up the dry cleaning, doing the grocery shopping, or other household chores.
2. 2. Gift-giving: The love language of gift-giving doesn’t necessarily mean big, expensive gifts. It can be little things like buying your partner their favorite snack, surprising them with flowers, or making them a playlist of their favorite songs.
3. 3. Physical touch: If you resond to the love language of physical touch, you crave physical closeness through hugs, holding hands, massages after a long day, cuddling, and even little spontaneous touches to feel loved.
4. 4. Quality time: When you pay attention to your partner and nothing else, you give them the gift of quality time. Your entire focus is on them, intending to connect genuinely. Scheduled time together, such as a date night for just the two of you, is quality time.
5. 5. Words of affirmation: When you tell someone “I love you” or encourage them, you use the words of affirmation love language. Dr. Chapman believes these words of appreciation and praise fill the “love tank” of whoever receives them.

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