What Is Love Bombing? 4 Signs of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a manipulation tactic a new partner will employ to attract a lover through lavish gifts, excessive attention, and extreme validation. The love-bombing partner will then turn on the other person and emotionally abuse them. Love bombers are often narcissists and less capable than others of experiencing empathy. They aim to maintain power over others in new relationships, which they do via emotional abuse. This behavior can quickly lead to an unhealthy, toxic relationship.

Love bombing can be complex for people to grasp because, at first, the relationship seems like a fairy tale. Even from the first date, the love bomber might offer expensive gifts and insist on spending quality time together. This can seem promising, but warning signs will show this person is not a soulmate. Grand gestures will transform into cruel words and emotional abuse, proving the validation has been a ruse. The lured-in person might feel confused and hold onto fonder memories, making it hard to leave their partner, who might have a narcissistic personality disorder.

Love bombing can quickly lead to a cycle of abuse. You might think, even at the beginning of a relationship, you have found “the one” because that person treasures you and makes falling in love feel simple. Over time, however, that person will become more irritable and pick at your insecurities while simultaneously reminding you of all the good things they’ve done for you.

Even when you experience low self-esteem, the love bomber will make it seem like they are the only one who can care for you. This can warp your sense of a healthy relationship and make it harder to break up with the person as you might fear them. Love bombing can also impact your mental health and cause you to normalize abusive behavior.

The red flags below represent common signs of love bombing:

1. 1. Love bombers constantly check in. A love bomber will send many texts to find out where you are when you are apart. This lack of healthy relationship boundaries should signal this person is not a genuine partner.
2. 2. Love bombers gaslight partners. When you bring up relationship difficulties later on, the love-bombing partner will try to tell you how good they were to you at the start. This red flag is an effort to make you forget about their misgivings.
3. 3. Love bombers get too close too fast. Romance can be a rush, but more often, it is a slow simmer as two people grow to know and respect each another. A love bomber, however, will dive right in to attract a new partner. They expect you to spend all your time together, which can register as possessive.
4. 4. Love bombers lavish you with gifts. A love bomber will give you flashy and expensive gifts. These might not be personal; you should note whether the gift they are giving you is something you even like or said you liked, as often it will only be a gesture but not something personalized to your style and liking.

The following scenarios are examples of love bombing:

1. 1. A boundary-less relationship: You’ve been dating someone who loves to touch you, even in public. You find it cute but sometimes boundary-breaking. Your partner flips out and becomes belligerent when someone else tries to touch you. You feel this person is not really caring for you but instead being possessive of you.
2. 2. An impersonal relationship: You meet someone who whisks you off for a romantic weekend away. You feel like you are in heaven, but you also notice this person does not ask you personal questions or care about your passions, hobbies, or friends. While this person showers you with gifts, they also start to get moody and blame you for their issues and setbacks.
3. 3. A rushed relationship: You meet someone online who immediately says you are the best-looking person they’ve ever seen. They insist on meeting as soon as possible and treat you to a nice meal. They then insist you see each other regularly and, over time, begin to put you down and make fun of some of your features or qualities.

It is essential to know the signs of love bombing to avoid being a victim. Consider the following tips if you feel your new partner might be love-bombing you:

• Ask about the person’s past relationships. If the love bomber calls previous partners “crazy” or says, “They were so obsessed with me,” it might very well be a sign your new partner is repeating past behavior.
• Discuss your relationship with trusted friends. Voice your relationship concerns to friends and family members if you have doubts. They might articulate concerns, which you should take to heart. Love bombers condition partners to prioritize them, so this process can be challenging. Moving away from this negative energy will ultimately be healing.
• Remember your self-worth. You must maintain an independent self in your romantic relationships. If you feel your new partner is taking advantage of you or not valuing your self-respect, it will be time to leave that relationship.

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