What Is Couples Therapy? 4 Types of Couples Therapy

Couples therapy, also known as couples counseling, is a type of therapy undertaken by a romantic partnership. Couples therapy allows couples to resolve disagreements, improve communication, and strengthen their relationship. Therapy can be an excellent way to help partners on the verge of ending their relationship. Generally, couples therapy is a short-term skills-building exercise that can lead to positive change in a relationship in the long term.

Couples therapy is similar to marriage counseling, but the latter focuses more on current relationship issues instead of identifying past behavior patterns. According to the American Association of Marriage and Family, more than ninety-seven percent of surveyed couples benefitted from couples therapy.

Couples in couples therapy typically see a licensed counselor for weekly counseling sessions. A therapist can mediate between the couple as they voice their issues and concerns and provide feedback based on witnessing the couple’s interactions. A therapist can also offer techniques and advice for how the couple can resolve relationship distress and improve their relationship dynamics. In some cases, couples might also engage in family therapy or individual therapy in addition to couples therapy.

Couples therapy can be an excellent way for domestic partners or anyone in a romantic relationship to strengthen their bond. Consider the different types of couples therapy:

1. 1. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This treatment identifies negative patterns of behavior and negative thought patterns and works to change them. In doing so, it helps people develop problem-solving skills.
2. 2. Emotionally focused therapy (EFT): This psychotherapy approach develops the attachment bond between the couple, decreasing feelings of detachment and anger so the couple can move in a more positive and healthy direction.
3. 3. Gottman Method: Named after psychologist John Gottman, the Gottman Method focuses on fostering positive interactions between the couple so that they can develop feelings of closeness and affection. This approach can help motivate couples to overcome conflict.
4. 4. Premarital counseling: Premarital counseling programs assist couples in discussing important issues to pave the way for a healthy marriage. Sometimes couples do not live together before their wedding day, have not fully explored their sex life, or have never had another kind of long-term commitment. In these cases, premarital therapy provides couples with a safe space to discuss their concerns and issues.

Relationship counseling can help couples empathize with each other and understand the root cause of their conflict. Consider the following techniques and tips from relationship expert Esther Perel to foster better communication skills and conflict resolution:

1. 1. Build empathy: Therapists can encourage couples to step into each other’s shoes to help them see issues from their partner’s point of view. This can help the individuals foster compassion and empathy and approach dialogue healthily. “When we get stuck into too much thinking about ourselves, it sometimes can stand in the way of our ability to think and understand others,” Esther says. “Empathy is exactly that; it’s that ability to put ourselves in another person’s shoes.”
2. 2. Identify issues: A licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) can help the couple identify the patterns within their disagreements. Therapists can also identify the core issues for why the couple is usually in conflict, whether that’s an emotional issue, a communication issue, or a physical issue, such as substance abuse. According to Esther, it is essential to handle conflict early. “Conflict is basically an ascending curve from something that is a discord, a disagreement, a challenge—and it goes all the way to an explosion,” she says.
3. 3. Improve self-awareness: The therapist can help a couple get to know themselves and their partners better by exploring their pasts. Self-awareness is essential for both partners in a relationship. “Why is self-awareness key to relational life? It’s so obvious that it’s almost difficult to define it sometimes. Self-awareness involves . . . the idea that you can look at yourself and how you are acting and reacting in relationships, how you are communicating in a relationship, how you are showing up,” Esther says. “That piece of self-knowledge is also what gives you a sense of looking at others and being able to understand them.”
4. 4. Name emotions: Therapy can help couples identify the feelings at the heart of the couple’s conflict, such as one partner feeling like the other takes them for granted or another partner feeling disconnected from the relationship. You must listen to recognize your partner's emotions. “If a person is pissed, sad, angry, hurt, they probably have a reason to feel so,” Esther says. “We don’t need to do anything about this. The feelings exist, they will go through, and they will come out on the other side.

After choosing a therapist, couples meet for weekly sessions with a therapist virtually or in person. At the first session, a couples therapist will begin by interviewing the individual partners and asking them about themselves, their cultural background, personal values, and the history of the relationship. The therapist will use the initial session to work with the couple to identify relationship problems and to set a treatment plan, including the number of therapy sessions for the couple. They will also set goals with the couple on what they want the couples therapy sessions to achieve.

Over several weekly sessions recommended by the therapist, the counselor will work with the couple to address their issues. The therapist can provide feedback on the couple’s relationship, techniques for conflict resolution, and ways to increase the bond between the couple. They can also provide homework for the couple to help couples work on their interactions at home. If partners have more significant issues, such as substance abuse, the therapist can suggest specialized treatment.

Couples therapy can help many couples strengthen their relationship. Consider the following benefits and takeaways from couples therapy:

1. 1. Builds skills: At the end of the set amount of sessions with the counselor, the couple will emerge with new skills for how to better communicate with each other, how to have a better relationship mindset, and how to resolve disagreements.
2. 2. Gives answers: Couples therapy can explain why partners are in conflict with one another and why each person is acting in ways that might displease their partner.
3. 3. Increases satisfaction: Couples who participate in couples therapy report higher happiness and relationship satisfaction levels. Couples therapy can improve the mental health of individual partners.
4. 4. Saves time: Couples tend to argue repeatedly about the same topics in different contexts. Couples therapy equips couples with tools to communicate and resolve conflicts quickly and peacefully before they spin into more significant issues.
5. 5. Strengthens relationships: Couples tend to come out of couple’s therapy with a strengthened bond, greater empathy and understanding for their partners, improved interactions, and a better outlook on their relationship.

Developing relational intelligence and improving communication are essential to boost the quality of your personal and professional relationships. Discover Esther Perel’s approach to resolving conflict, having difficult conversations, and building trust when you sign up for a MasterClass Annual Membership.