What Is a Rehearsal Dinner? Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Rules

A rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding event that traditionally takes place the night before the big day. The rehearsal gives you the chance to run through the ceremony and work out last-minute details before the actual wedding, while the dinner that follows provides the opportunity to gather with your loved ones. Modern couples sometimes opt for a rehearsal breakfast or brunch instead of dinner.

While every couple should fit their event to their budget and style, common rehearsal dinner elements include:

• A meal: Keep in mind a rehearsal dinner can instead be a rehearsal breakfast, brunch, or cocktail hour, depending on your budget and preferences. Couples typically keep formality levels in line with the tone of the actual wedding.
• Ceremony run-through: Before the meal or refreshments, everyone participating in the ceremony will gather at the wedding venue and rehearse how to walk in, where to stand, and exit cues. It’s often the wedding planner, the officiant, or a close family member who guides everyone through the wedding ceremony outline.
• Gift-giving: Some couples use the rehearsal dinner as a chance to present their bridesmaids, groomsmen, and other members of the wedding party with a small gift to say thank you.
• Toasts: Whoever is hosting the rehearsal dinner welcomes all the guests and thanks them for their attendance before opening up the mic to others for toasts or short wedding speeches.

To kick off your wedding weekend seamlessly, keep these guidelines in mind when planning your perfect rehearsal dinner:

• Who pays for the rehearsal dinner: Traditionally, the groom’s family hosts the rehearsal dinner and foots the bill for the event. It is becoming increasingly common, however, for both families to share the costs, or even for the happy couple to pay for it themselves.
• Who attends the rehearsal dinner: You should invite everyone who will be participating in the ceremony rehearsal, including all members of the bridal party, the officiant, flower girl, ring bearer, and any ushers or readers. Immediate family members, close extended family, close friends, and out-of-town guests should also make the guest list. Factor in plus-ones for those with significant others.
• What to wear to a rehearsal dinner: A more formal wedding often means a more formal rehearsal dinner, but you can specify to your guests any sort of attire you would like. If there is a wedding theme, couples often wear clothes that reflect it so the wedding and rehearsal dinner feel like cohesive events.

Here are some key steps to planning your perfect wedding rehearsal dinner:

• Build the guest list. Start by creating your rehearsal dinner guest list since the number of attendees will determine other important details, such as the rehearsal dinner venue. A formal rehearsal dinner invitation isn’t necessary, but you should give your guests plenty of notice once you finalize a time and location.
  
• Choose a location. It can be convenient to hold the rehearsal dinner at the wedding venue or reception venue, but this is not always feasible. If you choose a different venue, primary considerations should be the number of guests it accommodates, proximity to the wedding venue, and the type of food you want to serve.
• Plan your menu. This process will depend on whether your venue provides food. If you plan to hire a caterer, give yourself plenty of time to sample dishes ahead of the event.
• Secure gifts and pen thank-yous. It is common for couples to give their wedding party members gifts—often items to wear during the ceremony, such as ties, cufflinks, hair accessories, or jewelry—at the rehearsal dinner.
• Write a toast or thank-you speech. Be prepared to give a short welcome speech or toast to show appreciation for your guests.

Have a wedding to plan? Learn how to take on the process strategically. Discover Mindy Weiss’s approach to setting a budget, choosing a theme, and sending invitations when you sign up for the MasterClass Annual Membership.