Wedding Ceremony Outline: Ceremony Tips From Mindy Weiss

A wedding ceremony is a ceremonial event during which two people profess their love for each other and unite in marriage. Wedding ceremonies can take many forms based on the couple’s religion, familial obligations, and personal preferences. No matter their design, weddings often follow similar structures across religious practices, and all offer the couple a chance to share their love before relatives and friends and become legally wed.

The ceremony might include readings, holy orders, and other facets that speak to the couple’s values. Generally, the couple will form wedding parties, consisting of loved ones who stand at the altar. An officiant oversees the ceremony, and guests witness the union.

Ceremonies typically break down into categories by spiritual affiliation. In religious weddings, the couple might abide by certain traditions. In a Jewish ceremony, for example, there will be a ketubah, or marriage contract, outlining the commitment of the spouses. A Jewish ceremony also features the ritual of Sheva Brachot, or seven blessings. In a Christian wedding ceremony, the couple might mark the sacrament of holy matrimony by lighting a unity candle to share a holy deed and mimic the life of Jesus, who provided light to the world.

In nonreligious ceremonies, couples might still opt for a sense of spirituality to commemorate the occasion. Couples might engage in a unity ritual like the Celtic tradition of handfasting. There might not be a bridal party, the officiant might not be a person of faith, and the readings might come from less traditional texts. In these contexts, couples can customize their wedding to their aesthetic and personal liking.

Wedding ceremonies take many forms, and couples can customize them to their preferences. In more traditional wedding ceremonies, the order of events might follow these beats:

1. 1. Arrivals: Guests file in, take their seats, and take a wedding program commemorating the big day with a list of the newlyweds’ names, readings, and music selections.
2. 2. Processional: The marriage ceremony opens with a procession down the aisle. The processional order differs between denominations, but a traditional wedding processional begins with the officiant taking their place at the altar or gathering place. Next, the couple’s grandparents will find their seats at the front of the gathering. A chosen escort accompanies the mother of the bride down the aisle, and then the groom’s parents follow. The wedding party of groomsmen and bridesmaids come next, often arm in arm. The ring bearer will walk down the aisle with a flower girl or boy, often young relatives of the betrothed. The bride and her father, or another chosen escort, will walk down the aisle. The maid or matron of honor might follow the bride if her wedding attire features a long veil or train.
3. 3. Opening remarks: With the wedding party in place and the couple set, the wedding officiant will begin with some remarks. This person might be a religious leader or a loved one. They might follow a wedding ceremony script template but might also have their own anecdotes or gentle jokes to share.
4. 4. Ceremony readings: Best friends, family members, ushers, bridesmaids, or groomsmen might come forward to read a chosen text. Options include a religious passage, song lyrics, or a poem of the couple’s choosing.
5. 5. Wedding vows: A declaration of intent typically comes next in the wedding ceremony order. The exchange of vows is a chance for the couple to read their own vows to each other and share them before the loved ones in attendance.
6. 6. Exchange of rings: After the couple has exchanged vows, the officiant will hand them their wedding rings. In modern weddings, the officiant might pass the rings around so guests can hold them and imbue them with their love.
7. 7. Pronouncement and first kiss: The officiant weds the couple, and the pair kisses for the first time as a married couple after saying their “I dos” to verify their commitment.
8. 8. Unity ceremony: If the couple plans to incorporate a unity ceremony, such as handfasting or lighting a candle, it typically happens after the pronouncement.
9. 9. Recessional: Brief closing remarks or a prayer from the officiant might follow, and then music plays as the wedding party walks down the aisle, followed by the happy couple.

When designing your wedding ceremony, consider these tips from expert wedding planner Mindy Weiss:

1. 1. Choose your officiant carefully. In religious ceremonies, the wedding officiant is a priest, rabbi, or affiliate of a religious community. A friend or family member can also be ordained to perform a marriage ceremony legally. “The person you choose to officiate your wedding is a very important decision,” Mindy says. “Not only does this person repeat vows, repeat prayers, repeat stories about the two of you, but they become instrumental in actually bringing the two of you together.”
2. 2. Follow the rules in a house of worship. Wedding ceremony outlines and traditions vary between religions and cultures. “If you’re getting married at a house of worship, there are very definite rules that we must follow,” Mindy advises. “In a traditional service, it’s really up to the clergy or the officiant on the order and what they want to mention during the ceremony.”
3. 3. Invest in quality microphones. It is essential wedding guests can hear the officiant and readers during the ceremony. “You really want to make sure whoever you choose, that everybody can hear them,” Mindy says. “That would be a real shame if they had practiced and they had wonderful, beautiful things to say about the couple, about how you met, and no one could hear it. Invest in renting a microphone that is good quality. Not only for your guests but for your video, too. These are memories you want to capture. And not kinda cheap out on something like that.”
4. 4. Personalize your ceremony. A great way to customize your ceremony is to select readings and songs that are meaningful to you. You might choose to include a poem or have the reader “repeat beautiful words to a song [you] love—that customizes and personalizes your wedding,” Mindy says.
5. 5. Write your own vows. The exchange of vows is a special part of the wedding ceremony. “I believe that vows are the most important part of planning a wedding, getting to that part down the aisle,” Mindy says. “Because this is the promise. This is the validation of why you’re getting married. Most often, my couples have been writing their own vows … it's wonderful to hear.”

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