Validation in Relationships: The Importance of Emotional Validation

Emotional validation is the process of understanding someone’s emotional experience. By validating someone’s feelings, you’re telling them, implicitly or explicitly, that their experiences matter and that you empathize with them. Emotional validation doesn’t mean agreeing with someone—you don’t have to see eye to eye on a matter or adopt the other person’s feelings as your own. It simply requires that you accept their right to have those feelings. By contrast, emotional invalidation is when you reject someone’s right to their feelings, which can make a person feel judged and ignored.

In relationships, emotional validation is an important way for you to make your partner feel seen and affirm their sense of self. It shows them you care about their experiences and helps them feel secure and understood. Getting validation from loved ones helps a person understand that their own emotions matter and can positively impact their well-being, self-esteem, and mental health. Listening to your significant other and giving them your support and attention shows emotional intelligence and can deepen your emotional connection.

If you struggle emotionally validate your partner, consider these tips.

1. 1. Avoid problem-solving: Unless your partner asks for help, do not offer unsolicited advice. Instead, listen to your partner’s perspective, make sure they feel understood, then ask whether or not they’d like advice. Be prepared to accept their answer, whatever it is.
2. 2. Have an appropriate emotional response: When someone shares a negative emotion with you, responding in an overly cheerful way can make them feel dismissed rather than accepted. Try to match their mood and take them seriously when they’re telling you something difficult or personal.
3. 3. Practice active listening: Give your partner your undivided attention. Make eye contact and avoid multitasking while they’re speaking to you. Pay attention to your body language. Crossing your arms and leaning away can create an invalidating environment. Nonverbal behaviors—such as nodding, smiling, or leaning in—show you have paid attention to the other person’s emotions.
4. 4. Use validating responses: Validating statements include phrases like, “I can see where you’re coming from,” “That sounds really difficult,” and “I hear you.” Avoid invalidating responses like, “You’re being too sensitive” or “I don’t see what the problem is.” Even if you disagree with your partner’s point of view, you should give them the space to speak without judgment.

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