How to Build and Maintain Trust in a Relationship

A foundation of trust is necessary for healthy, lasting relationships. Consider the following ways to build trust and make your relationship work:

1. 1. Communicate openly. Communication and trust go hand in hand. Gain your partner’s trust by telling them how you feel, using eye contact, and being honest with them in the situation at present instead of letting wounds and feelings fester over time.
2. 2. Respect your partner. Mutual respect is one of the best ways to establish trust with your partner. Treat your partner well by listening when they share their needs.
3. 3. Set boundaries. Partners should share their limits and personal boundaries. Respecting these boundaries is a powerful way to build trust. Physical boundaries and having breathing room are also essential—make sure you and your partner have alone time.
4. 4. Give the benefit of the doubt. Even in a healthy relationship, you cannot read your partner’s mind. If you have concerns, raise a question, but give your partner the benefit of the doubt. This approach presents your partner with an opportunity to express their point of view.
5. 5. Be vulnerable. Successful relationships depend on each partner being honest and open with the other. Be vulnerable and express your feelings to trust others better. If your partner is expressing frustration or is going through a challenging time, be present and attentive to their needs.

There are several actions you can take to maintain trust in a relationship:

1. 1. Step outside of your comfort zone. Go the extra mile and show your partner that you care. If you do not enjoy one of your partner’s hobbies, such as cooking or bicycling, step outside your comfort zone to try something new. Sharing life experiences is a way to build experiential intimacy, connection, and trust.
2. 2. Show consideration and care. Make sure your partner knows they are valued. You can do this by proactively taking on a chore that your partner would otherwise do, trying out a new love language, or simply complimenting your partner.
3. 3. Admit mistakes. If you make a mistake, own up to it. Clear the air and share your shortcomings sooner rather than later; otherwise, bitterness and mistrust can ensue. Good intentions can still lead to hurt, so be sure to maturely take responsibility for harm done, even if you did not mean for your actions to cause damage. Set aside your pride and show you are okay with taking the blame.
4. 4. Keep your promises. This is one of the surest ways to maintain trust; if you say you will do something, be sure to realize the action. If you cannot keep a promise, openly communicate the situation so your partner knows what to expect and can take your word at face value.

Trust issues can damage relationships, but there are ways to build trust after you or your partner makes a mistake. Consider the following rehabilitative actions:

1. 1. Do good on mistakes. Lack of trust often originates from lies or deceit. A partner’s actions can speak louder than words—you or your partner can regain trust by verbally apologizing, promising previous actions are in the past, and showing you are worthy of trust through actions.
2. 2. Commit to your words. Words are important, but it is also crucial to commit to action and show your partner that you are a person whose word counts. Making and keeping promises is a great way to rebuild trust.
3. 3. Go to a couples counselor. Couples therapy can provide an objective third perspective on the ongoings of a relationship. This psychotherapist can play a significant role in helping patch up a breakup or get couples to open up on a deeper level.
4. 4. Check in with your partner. You’ll want to check in now and then to communicate your concerns or what is going well. Establishing that both parties agree about how their relationship is going—or openly discussing what areas need improvement—can help reestablish trust.

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