Tantric Massage Guide: 3 Benefits of Tantric Massage

Tantric massage is a sensual, full-body massage (usually involving oil) that aims to awaken and distribute sexual energy to facilitate healing, transformation, and spiritual growth between the recipient and the massagist. Tantric massage incorporates breathwork, deep breathing, eye gazing, and slow massaging of the erogenous zones, allowing the parties to explore giving and receiving pleasure in an expectation-free environment, where connection, rather than orgasms, are the goal. Tantric massage is one component of neotantra, a Western practice derived from classical tantra, a spiritual path toward mindfulness and connection outside of oneself, with the ultimate goal of chakra alignment and true enlightenment. Tantric sex and meditation are other popular components of neotantra.

Tantric massage can offer a few benefits:

1. 1. Offers a sexual experience without expectations. Tantric massage is a unique kind of sexual experience that releases participants from the general expectations of sex, like penetration, direct stimulation of the genitals, or orgasm. This type of massage can be especially appealing for people who have difficulty engaging in traditional sexual intercourse. Tantric massage can offer a relaxed, low-pressure sensual experience for those with erectile dysfunction or other sex-related issues.
2. 2. Builds deeper connections with your partner. Whether you’re the giver or the receiver, tantric massage can make you more in tune with the sexual experience in both your and your partner’s body. Through breathing and slow, mindful touch, you can unlock a deeper connection with your partner for a more intimate experience.
3. 3. Encourages mindfulness. From work to finances, everyone juggles many daily stressors. These concerns and stressors can end up invading the bedroom, making it difficult to give or receive sexual pleasure. Tantric massage works to release you from distractions and zero in on your body (or your partner’s), helping you center yourself in the present moment, explore your sexual energy, and find a sense of sexual well-being.

To explore the pleasures of tantric massage with your partner, check out the following guide:

• Prepare a safe space. You should always practice tantra in a space that feels comfortable and sacred. Pick a room in your home and prepare it by cleaning up; dimming the lights; lighting candles, burning incense, or diffusing essential oils; and playing relaxing music. If possible, turn off or silence your phones to avoid distractions and keep you in the present moment. Some couples choose to shower beforehand.
• Prepare your oil. A good erotic massage includes a high-quality massage oil to increase relaxation, offer pleasurable sensation, and aid in stimulating the genitals. For a tantric massage, choose an all-natural oil (like coconut oil or olive oil) to avoid skin irritation. Warming the oil to touch will loosen it up, allowing it to glide across the skin smoothly, eliciting a more pleasurable sensation throughout the massage.
• Begin with your partner’s back. Begin your tantric massage session by having your partner lie facedown in your prepared space. Explore their back with your hands, from their scalp and neck down to their feet, using lots of oil, with a loving, sensual touch. Throughout the massage, focus on the buildup and movement of sexual energy in your partner’s body, taking time to note the way your partner’s body responds to different forms of touch in different areas and erogenous zones. Spend at least 20 minutes massaging your partner’s back before moving on to other areas.
• Massage your partner’s front. Ask your partner to flip over onto their back, then apply oil to your hands or their body, and begin massaging. Explore their whole body, including their neck, arms, chest, stomach, and legs, but avoid directly stimulating their genitals at this stage—simply tease or lightly caress instead. Be conscious of your partner’s body and sexual energy, paying close attention to how they’re feeling and what they enjoy. Spend at least 20 minutes massaging your partner’s front before you move on.
• Start the lingam or yoni massage. Depending on you and your partner’s comfort levels, you can move on to directly massage their genitals using a lingam massage for penis owners or a yoni massage for vulva owners. As you massage, keep in mind the many different parts of your partner’s anatomy (the head, frenulum, shaft, balls, and perineum for penis owners; the outer and inner lips, clitoris, crura, vaginal opening, g-spot, and perineum for vulva owners). For lingam massage, pay attention to your partner’s arousal levels—slow down or speed up to draw out the pleasure without focusing on maintaining your partner’s erection or having them ejaculate. If you’re performing a yoni massage, spend at least 20 minutes massaging the outside of the vulva, exploring different sensations, before asking if you may use a finger for additional sensation through penetration.
• Finish the massage. Since achieving orgasm is not the goal of tantric massage, it can be challenging to determine when the massage is over. After your partner orgasms, continue the massage for at least several minutes afterward to emphasize that the climax was not the goal but a pleasurable side effect. If your partner does not orgasm, continue the massage, slowly deescalating your partner’s sexual energy until you both feel fulfilled and relaxed. Try to avoid transitioning to penetrative sex after a tantric massage, which may establish tantra massage as simply a form of foreplay for you and your partner, weighing down the experience with expectations rather than allowing it to be its own form of pleasure.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).