Sexual Intimacy: How to Build a Sexually Intimate Relationship

Sexual intimacy is a connection between sexual partners that relies on simultaneous physical attraction and emotional vulnerability. The physical act of sex can be stimulating, but deeper feelings, trust, and care promote sexual chemistry in intimate relationships. Building sexual intimacy through an emotional connection can lead to more satisfying sexual experiences. Sexual, emotional, experiential, intellectual, and physical intimacy all contribute to healthy, lasting relationships.

Sexually intimate and sexually disconnected relationships can both involve physical contact and genital stimulation, but they differ emotionally. Sexual intimacy comes from a positive place: a generosity between sexual partners and a desire to pleasure one another. Sexual intimacy necessitates vulnerability, risk-taking, and trust.

Sexually disconnected partners, meanwhile, might have sex but struggle with trust and other forms of intimacy, such as nonsexual physical touch or emotional intimacy. In disconnected relationships, partners want to experience sexual pleasure, but the sex often becomes more rote and less intense. This might happen to long-term relationships or married couples not working on spicing up their sex life. Sometimes, couples without intimacy stop having sex entirely, which can breed resentment.

Intimacy requires partners to be open and vulnerable with each other. Sexual intimacy is an integral part of any sexual relationship. If you cannot trust your partner, you will not be able to enjoy yourself wholly. Closing yourself off can make it harder to foster connections, and this isolation can impact your mental health.

Practice intimacy on your terms. Many types of intimacy exist, and not everyone needs to lead from sexuality in building bonds. Intellectual, experiential, emotional, and spiritual intimacy are other forms of intimacy that promote healthy relationships.

Building sexual intimacy can have several physical and mental health benefits. Consider the following advantages:

1. 1. Connectivity: Sexual intimacy brings two people closer through communication and understanding. Deep emotional bonds can lead to better sex. Emotional connectedness is an important factor for sexual activity involving kink and sexual fantasies.
2. 2. Endorphins: Sex releases feel-good endorphins that lead to stress reduction and happiness, which help your overall well-being.
3. 3. Mental health: Sex can center your breathing and help you relax, improving your mental health.
4. 4. Self-esteem: Awakening your sexual self and feeling desired by another can increase your self-esteem and make you move through the world more confidently.

If you have intimacy issues or want to build sexual chemistry with a new partner, try these tactics:

1. 1. Ask your partner what they want. All relationships require open communication, particularly when it comes to sex. See if your partner has any preferences and support their desires.
2. 2. Delay sex. With new couples, delaying sex can increase desire. Waiting a little longer to have sex can keep a charge in the air and boost your sex drive.
3. 3. Give new positions a try. Change your regular sexual practices; you may find that you like something new. You can also try having sex at different times of the day to see if your mood shifts.
4. 4. Keep a journal. Writing about intimacy in a journal can help you identify issues and relationship needs.
5. 5. See a sex therapist. Couples and individuals can also start sex therapy. Professional sex therapists give partners prompts and techniques to break down barriers, speak more openly, and engage in more vulnerable sexual activity.

Kissing and vaginal, anal, and oral sex involve physical touch, but there are also nonphysical ways for romantic partners to practice foreplay or foster sexual intimacy. Sexting—sending sexy text messages—is one way to stimulate you and your partner, and sustained eye contact or verbal banter and flirting are other methods to manifest attraction.

Sometimes, these acts lead to physical intimacy, such as hugging, kissing, or cuddling. However, they do not have to—withholding from sex can augment sexual desire and lead to more satisfying sexual experiences.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).