Sexual Arousal for Vulva Owners: How to Trigger Sexual Desire

Sexual arousal is the physical state of being sexually "turned on." You can become aroused by sexual thoughts, erotic media, or sexual stimulation. Arousal is the first stage of the sexual response cycle, followed by plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Arousal can be a pleasurable standalone sexual activity—no masturbation or partner needed.

Sexual arousal often overlaps with sexual desire, which simply refers to wanting sex but doesn't always correlate with a physical response. For most vulva owners, sexual desire is associated with hormones. Higher levels of estrogen are associated with increased sexual desire, while higher levels of progesterone might decrease sexual desire.

It’s worth noting that hormone levels can change throughout the menstrual cycle, after menopause, and due to medications like birth control and hormone therapy. Stress, illness, and life changes can also impact sexual function. If you find that your physical arousal doesn't match up to your sex drive, talk to your doctor or a sex therapist.

The physical expression of arousal can look different for different people, but vulva owners may experience these physiological changes when they are aroused:

• Increased blood flow: The erectile tissue in the labia, clitoris, and nipples may enlarge and/or harden.
• Lubrication: The vaginal walls may expand and lubricate.
• Increased blood pressure: Arousal may increase both blood pressure and heart rate.

If you want to get aroused or turn on your partner, consider these techniques:

1. 1. Use your brain. Physical touch can lead to arousal, but the brain might be the most important sexual organ. Sexual experiences activate dopamine receptors in the brain—the neurotransmitters responsible for the sensation of pleasure. To trigger arousal, seek out sexual stimuli such as porn, erotica, and audio porn, or think about your sexual fantasies. Mental health is an essential part of your overall well-being, and taking care of your mental health—even just by getting consistent sleep and exercise—can also boost your sexual health.
2. 2. Stimulate erogenous zones. Erogenous zones are parts of the body that can trigger arousal or pleasure when touched. These zones can be different for different people, but some of the most common erogenous zones include genitalia, nipples, breasts, neck, mouth, hands, feet, thighs, and butt.
3. 3. Add lube. Simply put, lubrication increases sexual pleasure. During foreplay, use a little lube to massage your breasts, thighs, or any place that feels good. When you're ready, apply lube to the vulva. For many vulva owners, the level of moisture the vagina produces naturally does not always match their sexual motivation. This is especially common after menopause when estrogen levels decrease, and it doesn't signal any kind of sexual problem—it just means you need more lube.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).