6 Relationship Questions to Ask Your Partner

Whether a person is in a long-distance relationship or a new relationship, asking their romantic partner questions gives both people a chance to understand each other better and assess whether the partnership is a good fit. Asking questions can help partners:

• To assess compatibility: When you’re seeing someone new, asking questions on a date night can make for conversation starters and help test compatibility. In these cases, you might ask the person about their hobbies, favorite things to do on weekends, and other interests. Healthy relationships rely on independent interests and shared values; this means no one will fulfill every single want in a partner. Those dating, however, can start to assess how this new relationship might go, even on a first date.
• To build intimacy: Open communication in a relationship is important to your love life and libido. After a while, you might get into a rut in your sex life, and openly discussing your desires or seeing a sex therapist can help partners rekindle a flame.
• To establish trust: Ask a new partner how they express their love language and what their preferred communication style is. Effective communication can help to build trust in the relationship.

- To learn values: People might employ deep questions as relationships advance to uncover their personal values and determine if the relationship will be a lifelong journey. Here, people might wonder about marriage, children, and dream jobs and how all those aspects might shape and direct their lives.

All partnerships are unique and require different questions and conversations. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship with your high school sweetheart or dating someone new, good questions can help take your relationship to the next level.

Relationship questions might vary, depending on the individuals involved. Here are some questions partners can ask at various phases of their relationship to help each person better understand the other:

1. 1. Do you have any sexual fantasies? As partners sleep together and understand one another’s bedroom preferences, this question can unlock further sexual satisfaction. Ask your partner about any fetishes or kinks they might desire.
2. 2. What have your past relationships been like? This can be a thorny question for some, but with the presence of trust, both people can be open and share their experiences and learnings from their prior relationships.
3. 3. What is your favorite movie? Fun questions can make for good icebreakers on initial dates. People might inquire about a favorite film, TV show, or weekend activity to see where their interests overlap.
4. 4. What is your ideal date night? As people get to know each other better, they might try out more personalized dates that correspond to each person’s likes and love languages.
5. 5. What’s something on your bucket list? This question helps partners look toward the future and reveal some of their aspirations, professional or otherwise.
6. 6. What’s your relationship to family in the past and for the future? Learning about another person’s upbringing can help you comprehend their habits and fears. It might also help you to understand whether they want their own family one day and, if so, what they imagine it looking like.

Developing relational intelligence and improving communication are essential to boost the quality of your personal and professional relationships. Discover Esther Perel’s approach to resolving conflict, having difficult conversations, and building trust when you sign up for a MasterClass Annual Membership.