How to Be Empathetic: 3 Tips From Pharrell Williams

Pharrell Williams is an American recording artist, songwriter, producer, fashion designer, bestselling author, and cultural influencer from the United States. In 2020, he launched Black Ambition, a nonprofit dedicated to reducing the wealth gap by providing funding and resources to Black and Latinx entrepreneurs.

Empathy means taking on another person’s feelings as your own. It came into the English language from the German word “Einfühlung,” which means “feeling into something.” To empathize is to understand, deeply resonate with, and experience the feelings of others as your own.

A person with a high level of empathy—sometimes referred to as an empath—feels as if they can share the personal experiences or point of view of another human being in pain. They don’t just feel sorry for another person’s feelings of sadness, grief, or suffering—it’s as if they were in the person’s shoes themselves.

For Pharrell, tapping into his creativity was more than an outlet; it’s how he became more empathetic to others. “[I channeled] all that wild, weird energy of just thinking about things differently and executing things differently,” he says. “That’s when I began to realize that there was so much more going on in the world.”

While he was aware of certain issues, he realized he hadn’t always gotten a full picture. However, traveling and interacting with many kinds of people helped him become more aware and empathetic. “Once you travel, you meet people, you enter conversations, you read things, your mind starts to open up,” he adds. “And you start to realize that there’s more going on in the world than you and your dreams. You and your dreams may pale in comparison to the need of somebody else’s dreams being fulfilled because they’re in situations that you could never imagine. That’s where empathy comes in. That’s where I started to realize I needed to think about things differently.”

According to Pharrell, empathy doesn’t come naturally, but you can get better at it. Here are his tips for being a more empathetic person:

• Don’t project. Pharrell believes that we often love projections instead of reality, which can make us harsher on others. “We love projections,” he says. “This is what I think you’re supposed to be, so that’s what I love. And then when [they] act outside of it, [we say,] ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with this person. They’re not themselves.’” But by being more empathetic, we can accept that people come with flaws.
• Practice empathy. It takes practice to be empathetic, and you can get better at this important skill in every aspect of your life, including at work with your coworkers or at home with a family member. “Empathy is like humility and gratitude,” he says. “They’re all sports. They’re all things that you work at every day and challenge yourself to get better and better and better, and outdo your score… I just try to be cognizant in every decision that I make, and try to make sure that I am injecting a steroid of consideration for others in anything that I do. I say ‘steroid’ because it’s not a natural thing. It’s not a natural thing to just literally think of others all the time.”
• Think about groups with which you least empathize. According to Pharrell, a good exercise is to think about groups of people that “you care the least about.” He suggests looking at political differences as an example. While he acknowledges this is a difficult ask—especially for marginalized groups who have experienced the negative effects of certain policies—he believes it’s necessary. “Empathy is the best tool [because] the only way to really get them to understand, and to try to understand where they are all coming from, is to empathize. It’s a two-way street. It doesn’t work if they don’t empathize [with] you. But it shouldn’t stop you from empathizing.”

Practicing empathy can help you lead more effectively while building stronger relationships across the personal and professional facets of your life. Challenge your perceptions with the MasterClass Annual Membership and take lessons on emotional intelligence from Pharrell Williams, Roxane Gay, Gloria Steinem, Dr. Cornel West, Walter Mosley, Robert Reffkin, and Robin Arzón.