Oral Sex Tips: Emily Morse on Oral Pleasure

Oral pleasure, also known as oral sex or “going down,” is a sex act which involves stimulating your partner’s genitals with your mouth. Other terms to describe oral sex include cunnilingus (vulva), fellatio or blow job (penis), and analingus (anus).

Oral pleasure can involve accessories like butt plugs, vibrators, and flavored lube. You can perform oral in many different oral sex positions, which is a great way to spice up your sex life. It is possible to contract STIs (sexually transmitted infections) through oral sex—condoms and dental dams can offer protection if needed.

Everyone’s genitals are different, and not everyone identifies with the terms “vulva” and “penis.” Use sexual health expert Emily Morse’s tips for pleasuring a vulva as a basic guide:

1. 1. Start with foreplay. Allow arousal to build up by stimulating different parts of your partner’s body, like the inner thighs and erogenous zones. “Don’t go right for the clitoris,” Emily says, “because there are so many other nerve endings. Get to know the vulva, the labia, the clitoris, all of it.”
2. 2. Engage with the clitoral shaft. Direct and consistent clitoral stimulation is often the key to making your partner orgasm. “Use your tongue,” Emily says. “Move in different circular motions. Apply different pressures and speeds.”
3. 3. Ask for feedback. “Ask, ‘Do you want me to put a finger inside of you?’” Emily says, “‘How does that feel?’ You’ll get feedback. You’ll know. And play with it and figure it out.” You can also use dirty talk, body language, or make some noise to let your partner know you enjoy what they’re doing. “Explore,” Emily adds. “Maybe use a finger. And be safe, have fun, and pay attention.”
4. 4. Stimulate the clitoris from the inside. Many people think of the clitoris as the small hooded nub at the top of the vulva. However, most of the clitoris is internal, with arms of erectile tissue that wrap around the vagina. When your partner is aroused, you can stimulate the interior portion of the clitoris through the vagina. Often called G-spot stimulation, Emily clarifies that it’s “more of an area” than a specific spot, located “about an inch and a half, two inches inside” the vagina. If your partner likes it, “You can apply pressure and stimulation to that area as well,” Emily says, using fingers or sex toys.

Here are some tips from sex educator Emily Morse on how to give a good blow job:

1. 1. Use your hand. According to Emily, “your hand can be a great part of a blow job.” She notes that it’s especially helpful when your “jaw or mouth is getting tired.” Emily recommends combining a hand job with a blow job. “You could bring your hand to your mouth,” she says. “You can twist your hand around. You can have your mouth and your hand following each other up and down the shaft.”
2. 2. Lubricate. “You want to make sure,” Emily says, “that there’s lubricant.” You could use flavored lube or your saliva. “Your tongue can feel warm in your mouth,” she says. “Move and swirl your tongue around while using your hand.”
3. 3. Focus on the frenulum. When giving fellatio, Emily suggests using the tip of your tongue to tease the frenulum, “the most sensitive part of the penis.” Use your tongue as if you’re licking an ice cream cone. You’ll find the frenulum where the shaft meets the tip on the underside of the penis. “Pay some more attention to it,” she says, “and see how the penis in your life reacts.”
4. 4. Hold the testicles. While your mouth pleasures the penis, simultaneously stimulate other erogenous zones on your partner’s body. Try massaging their balls, licking their inner thighs, stroking their perineum, or engaging in anal play. Holding your partner’s testicles can be pleasurable, but, as Emily points out, “Some [penis owners] don’t want their balls touched.” Everybody is different. Take your time to figure out what your partner likes and dislikes.
5. 5. Make eye contact. Making eye contact can be a major turn-on for some people. “I’m not saying you have to stare into their eyes the whole time,” Emily says, “But there’s just something really hot to be watching somebody sucking your penis that you’re into.”

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).