How to Do the Lotus Sex Position: 5 Lotus Position Variations

The lotus position (also called the yab-yum position) is a tantric sex position in which one partner sits in the other’s lap, facing each other for intimate penetration or external stimulation. The lotus sex position represents the union of masculine, penetrative energies (Shiva) and feminine, receptive energies (Shakti). However, partners can serve either role or even switch between roles, regardless of gender identity. The lotus position is one component of tantra (“weave” in Sanskrit), an ancient spiritual belief system from India that focuses on mind-body connections. The goal of tantra is to move energy (including sexual energy) between participants to facilitate healing, transformation, and spiritual growth.

The lotus position can be a great option for many reasons:

1. 1. Promotes intimacy: While many sex positions (like missionary or cowgirl) require partners to face each other during sex, the lotus position takes that intimacy a step further by prioritizing prolonged eye contact and full-body contact in the form of a sensual hug. The position is ideal for those looking for ways to deepen intimacy and build connections in their sex life.
2. 2. Frees the hands: As an upright position, the lotus centers most of your weight in your hips, leaving your hands free to caress, explore, and stimulate various erogenous zones. This hands-free position is especially useful for vulva owners since they can freely stimulate their clitoris and breasts during intercourse, whether with their hands, a vibrator, or a different sex toy.
3. 3. Customizable: The lotus position has been around for hundreds of years, and there are many popular variations that you can try—from leaning back to draped. You and your partner can customize the position to add more full-body contact, clitoral stimulation, or incorporate a deeper stretch, like a yoga pose.

You don’t have to be a sex expert to try the lotus position. If it’s your first time trying the position, check out the following step-by-step guide:

1. 1. The bottom partner sits cross-legged. First, have one partner sit cross-legged on the bed, the floor, or a comfortable chair. For the most traditional lotus position, this should be the penetrative partner—whether that means they have a penis, are using a dildo or their fingers, or simply want to be the one on the bottom, anchoring the couple.
2. 2. The top partner sits in their lap. Once the bottom partner is in place, the top partner sits in their lap, straddling them face-to-face and chest-to-chest. The top partner then wraps their arms and legs around their partner as if they’re giving a full-body hug.
3. 3. The top partner rocks their hips back and forth. After both partners are in position, add movement to enhance stimulation. For the most traditional lotus position, the top partner will do most of the moving, rocking their hips back and forth (rather than bouncing) for a slow, steady sensation. You can perform this move with penetration or non-penetrative stimulation of both partners’ genitals; for less friction, apply lube around each other’s genitals, hips, and legs to facilitate a more effortless, gliding motion.

If you can’t quite get into the lotus position or you’re looking for a way to modify it for your preference, there are many lotus variations you and your partner can try:

1. 1. Straight-legged: You don’t need limber legs or hip flexor muscles to do the lotus position. You and your partner can modify the position, so you don’t have to wrap yourself around one another completely. Instead, have one partner keep their legs straight or slightly bent behind each other while they straddle, which will allow you to enjoy the face-to-face intimacy that the lotus position offers.
2. 2. Kneeling: The lotus position can place a lot of strain on the bottom partner, who holds most of the weight of the top partner square in their lap. To alleviate some of that strain, the top partner can instead kneel while straddling the bottom partner, holding up some of their own weight while still maintaining full-body contact.
3. 3. Leaning back: If you or your partner are more flexible or want to achieve a slightly different penetrative sensation, add a bit more stretch to the position by having one or both partners lean back slightly during intercourse. This variation changes the angle of your hips and can be immensely pleasurable for vulva owners since it offers deep penetration and more g-spot stimulation than the traditional upright lotus. (The g-spot is an area two to three inches inside the vaginal canal that, when stimulated, can lead to pleasure and sometimes orgasm.)
4. 4. Draped: The draped lotus can offer even more enjoyable stimulation for flexible couples. For this position, the top partner brings their legs up over the bottom partner’s shoulders so that their knees are hooked over, and their feet are in the air behind their partner. This variation changes the angle of the top partner’s hips and can be especially pleasurable for vulva owners since it offers deep penetration and more g-spot stimulation than the traditional upright lotus.
5. 5. With tantric connection: To tap into the tantric side of the lotus position, introduce additional tantric principles during the position to enhance the intimacy, connection, and emotional wellness. Breathing deeply, gazing into each other’s eyes, staying mindful of your body’s pleasure, and moving in slow, meaningful rhythms are a few tantric principles that can help you make the most of the intimate position.

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