Kinky Sex Guide: 9 Types of Kinky Sex

Kinky sex refers to sexual activities and preferences that fall outside standard sexual practices, like making out, masturbation, oral sex, and anal sex—though kinks are widely practiced and increasingly accepted as the social norm. Common types of kinks include bondage, cuckolding, role-playing, voyeurism, and sadomasochism.

The world of kink is vast and often overlaps, allowing for a profoundly personal array of preferences and combinations. Here are the most common types of kinks:

1. 1. Bondage: As the titular “B” of BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism, and masochism), bondage is one of the most familiar kinks, thanks in part to the widespread popularity of the erotic tome Fifty Shades of Grey (2011). Bondage is a sexual practice in which tools are used to restrain one partner during a sexual encounter. The most common restraints include rope, leather straps, bondage tape, ties, handcuffs, spreader bars, ball gags, blindfolds, and chains. These restraints aim to restrict the subject’s senses or freedom of movement to place control in the other partner’s hands and heighten mutual sexual stimulation.
2. 2. Cuckolding: Cuckolding is a kink that centers around watching (voyeurism) or thinking about your partner having sex with someone else. There are varying degrees of cuckolding: In some cases, dirty talk or steamy virtual sex is the goal, while others prefer watching the sexual act in-person from the side of the bed or corner of the room.
3. 3. Dominance and submission: Dominance and submission (D/s) focus on the flow of power and energy between partners. In general, one partner dominates the other physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually during a particular encounter (often called a “scene” or “session”), exploring the submissive partner’s desires, thoughts, and feelings and guiding the couple toward mutual pleasure. D/s often incorporates specific outfits or attire to be used during a scene—for instance, leather outfits, maid costumes, collars, leashes, and riding crops.
4. 4. Exhibitionism: While voyeurs enjoy watching others have sex, exhibitionists enjoy being watched during sexual intercourse, foreplay, or solo masturbation. The exhibitionism kink can include sex in public places, sex clubs, on adult websites, or in a private residence in front of guests.
5. 5. Humiliation play. Humiliation play is a kink where a person becomes sexually aroused when humiliating (or being humiliated by) their partner. This kink is often explored as part of BDSM and role-playing, though the humiliation kink on its own is a turn-on for some people. These acts of humiliation can be performed in the bedroom or in public.
6. 6. Impact play: Impact play is a kink that involves one partner striking the other with their hand or prop of choice. Erotic spanking is the most common form of impact play. Like all kinks, impact play exists on a spectrum, from light spanking to harder slaps or impacts carried out with whips and floggers.
7. 7. Masochism and sadism: Masochists derive sexual pleasure or gratification from being on the receiving end of physical pain or humiliation. As the counterpart to masochists, sadists enjoy inflicting pain on others. A person who enjoys receiving and inflicting pain is known as a sadomasochist.
8. 8. Role-play: Role-playing incorporates imagination, costumes, and in some cases, extensive character development as a way to act out different sexual fantasies. Common role-play subjects include teacher-student, boss-secretary, and doctor-patient.
9. 9. Sensory deprivation: Take one sense away, and the rest become amplified: This is the driving force behind the sensory deprivation kink. Using blindfolds and earplugs can be an aspect of submission by enhancing a sense of helplessness or simply increase the intensity of a partner’s touch across the many erogenous zones.

Great kinky sex is built upon a solid foundation of trust, consent, and compassion between all involved: Here’s how to keep it safe and enjoyable.

1. 1. Know your limits. If you’re interested in adding a few new activities to your sex life, try making a Yes/No/Maybe list. This “sexual road map” is a list of intimate activities that you can mark yes (I definitely want to do this), no (I definitely do not want to do this), or maybe (I’m not sure if I’d enjoy this, but I’m open to talking more about it and maybe trying it). You can use the road map either alone or with partners; fill out the list separately and then compare to see where your desires overlap.
2. 2. Establish consent. It’s essential to consistently check in with your partner for well-established consent before jumping into any sex acts or activities. While they may have been excited about trying out a new kink for the first time last week, they may have since changed their mind.
3. 3. Use safe words. Safe words help enforce boundaries in the moment without killing the mood. The safe word should be a word that either party can use to signal that a boundary has been crossed and it’s time to take a break. Choose safe words well in advance, make them unique—“no” or “stop” are not usually recommended, as resistance may be integral to certain kinks—and honor them.
4. 4. Timing is everything. Avoid starting a conversation about a new kink as your partner runs out the door for work or right before hosting a stressful dinner party. Ensure you both have time to talk and are in good spirits, then initiate the conversation in a neutral place, like the kitchen table. Chatting during a walk or long car ride can eliminate the pressure of eye contact. Keep your tone open, curious, and nonjudgmental.
5. 5. Own your kink. Confidence is a significant component of kinky sex: Confidence to explore both what you think you might like (or secretly know you already do) and trust in your connection with your partner or partners. Embrace what turns you on, without shame—unless that’s your kink, of course.

While the terms kink and fetish overlap in meaning, there is a notable distinction between the two forms of sexual interest. A kink is when a person derives sexual arousal or pleasure from a nontraditional source but is not dependent upon it for arousal. Alternately, a person with a fetish typically requires interaction with their specific sexual interest for arousal or sexual gratification.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).