Kink vs. Fetish: How Do They Compare?

A kink is a sexual behavior or practice that falls outside of standard sexual practices. (Though kinks are widely practiced and increasingly accepted as the social norm.) Kinks vary widely, with examples ranging from role-playing and age-play to breath-play (which may involve gagging or choking). Many sexual interest communities form based on a shared kinky proclivity, like BDSM.

A fetish refers to a specific object, sexual or non-sexual body part, or behavior that must be present for one to achieve sexual arousal and enjoyment. Those with a fetish—which can range from interacting with feet to wearing a specific material, like latex—may find it difficult or impossible to experience sexual enjoyment in the absence of the object or behavior.

“Kinky” describes anything outside of “ordinary” sex, whether it’s a common practice depicted in erotica or something else. Read about some of the most common kinks.

1. 1. BDSM: BDSM is a combination of acronyms that stands for three similar but distinct communities that use power imbalance for sexual pleasure: bondage and discipline (B/D), domination and submission (D/s), and sadism and masochism (S/M or S&M). This kink includes activities like spanking, using handcuffs, and inflicting pain and humiliation on your partner (or receiving it) to achieve pleasure. In BDSM acts, one partner is typically dominant and the other is submissive, but both consent to the situation and may use a safe word to communicate boundaries while remaining in the scene. Learn more about submissive sex and how to be dominant.
2. 2. Cuckolding: Cuckolding is when a partner experiences arousal from the humiliation of their partner sleeping with others. The cuckolded partner may be present for the sexual act, or the partners may discuss it after the fact.
3. 3. Exhibitionism: Exhibitionism occurs when a person is turned on by others watching them perform a sexual activity. This kink is the opposite of voyeurism, which is when watching others participate in a sexual activity elicits arousal.
4. 4. Impact play: Impact play refers to using an object for hitting and spanking. Whether the partners use a hand, toy, whip, vibrator, or paddle, impact play requires a detailed discussion beforehand to communicate pleasurable boundaries of a potentially harmful act.
5. 5. Role-play: Role-playing involves two partners portraying characters during sex. They can be fictional characters you’re familiar with or ones you make up independently.

Whenever a person requires an act or object to experience sexual pleasure, it qualifies as a fetish. Review this list of the most common types of fetishes:

1. 1. Bondage: Bondage is a form of BDSM occurring when one partner restrains the other during sex using handcuffs, ropes, or other objects or sex toys. Bondage is also a type of kink. Learn more about bondage.
2. 2. Electrostimulation: This fetish involves the receiver experiencing sexual arousal when receiving small electric shocks during sexual activity. This type of fetish often involves using specific toys made for electrostimulation to ensure safety.
3. 3. Foot fetish: A foot fetish (also called foot partialism or podophilia) refers to a sexual interest in which a person requires interaction with feet for sexual gratification. Foot fetishists may become sexually aroused by toes, toe or foot shapes, toenails, ankles, foot-related jewelry, accessories like socks and hosiery, or foot odor. This sexual desire can come from various interactions, including imagining, looking at, touching, smelling, kissing, penetrating, or placing feet in high heels. Learn more about foot fetishes.
4. 4. Nylon: Wearing nylon, or asking a partner to wear nylon during sex acts, is part of a nylon fetish.
5. 5. Pregnancy: Pregnancy fetishism is a sexual obsession with pregnant people or one of their specific features (like a swollen belly or lactation).

There are often areas of overlap between kinks and fetishes. Still, the key difference between the two is that a fetishist (someone with a fetish) cannot achieve pleasure or sexual arousal without their fetish object or act. The definition of a fetish also refers to an inanimate object or body part, whereas kinks refer to a broader spectrum of sexual interests.

Whether you have a fetish, kink, or unique turn-on, it’s important to have an open dialogue with your partner about your reciprocal sexual desires. Though society may stigmatize certain kinks and fetishes, the most important sexual health aspect of any erotic interaction is safety (with protection, communication, and content). If you have questions about sexual gratification, consider speaking with a sex educator or sex therapist.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).