How to Value Yourself: 4 Ways to Improve Self-Worth

You value yourself when you believe you are worthy of respect, love, and well-being. Self-value is different than selfishness or self-absorption. When you value yourself, you cultivate self-respect and set up healthy boundaries for yourself and others in your life. A sense of self-value allows you to approach everyone else in your life—family, friends, colleagues—with self-confidence and feelings of dignity. With this as your bedrock, you can commit to self-care, let go of negative thoughts, and build up positive relationships with those around you.

Learning how to value yourself starts with building healthy behavior patterns. Here are a few ways to nurture your sense of self-value.

1. 1. Avoid comparison. Some comparison between yourself and others is inevitable. Yet when you endlessly compare, you can prompt feelings of low self-esteem and low self-worth. Challenge yourself to stop comparing aspects of your own life—achievements, salary, relationship status—to those of others, and embrace the idea that everyone moves at their own pace. Find ways to appreciate the unique characteristics of your own life without considering how they might compare to things other people have.
2. 2. Create healthy boundaries. Surround yourself with people who provide you with validation and do not stand in the way of your own self-validation. If being around a particular person makes you feel bad about yourself, set a boundary and limit your time with them. Repurpose that time for healthy relationships with family members, loved ones, and colleagues who bolster your self-confidence and self-image. Permit yourself to cut ties with those who diminish your own self-worth.
3. 3. Silence negative self-talk. Your inner critic may replay past errors and tell you what you should have done differently. While self-criticism has its place, so too does self-affirmation. When your inner critic begins chirping, stop and remind yourself that no matter where you stand in life, you are a human being worthy of love. Strive to improve in all aspects of your life, but protect yourself from critical self-talk that can puncture your mental health. Developing high self-esteem helps you better position yourself to learn new skills and improve your relationships.
4. 4. Seek guidance. No one expects you to have all the answers—not even when the subject is your own life. When you find yourself doubting your true value, reach out to mentors, family members, best friends, and therapists to find grounding and perspective. Open up to people who serve as stable forces in your life, and ask for input. Ultimately, you will chart the course for your own needs, but you can seek their input as part of the process.

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