How to Think Before You Speak: 4 Tips

The phrase “think before you speak” refers to the practice of considering your words before you say something or respond to another person’s comments. When you think before speaking, you take into consideration that our words impact others’ feelings.

Thoughtful communication builds trust between acquaintances and fosters connections with loved ones. It also makes them a good conversationalist. Someone who actively listens while others are speaking can formulate a response that furthers a conversation.

Thinking before speaking can help you to:

• Avoid embarrassment. Speaking before you think often leads to saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Putting your foot in your mouth is embarrassing, but it can also have a negative effect on certain relationships or opportunities, such as a job interview.
• Consider other people’s feelings. It’s true that words have power. Kind words can uplift people’s emotions, while harsh or ill-considered words can undermine others’ self-esteem and trust.
• Mitigate stress. Speaking without thinking undercuts the things we want and need in favor of fulfilling an impulsive urge. As a result, we often end up in stressful situations we sought to avoid in the first place.

If you want to practice thinking before you speak, you can take steps to make it a habit. Consider these tips to help you slow down during conversations or presentations:

1. 1. Ask for more time. If possible, ask your conversation partner or audience for a few extra seconds or minutes to gather your thoughts before you answer a question or begin to speak. This enables you to form a response according to a more comfortable timeline and will ease some of the pressure you might feel to speak right away. If you experience anxiety when engaging in public speaking, this can be an effective strategy for calming your nerves.
2. 2. Practice awareness. Admitting you often speak before thinking is a form of self-awareness and the first step toward improvement, so you are already making progress. Additionally, practice active listening skills and use engaged body language so you are fully present during a conversation. Notice the other person’s posture, tone of voice, and mood. Absorb what they are asking or saying. Being more sensitive to others will lead to more effective communication and ideally eliminate any impatience or impulsivity if you are someone who interrupts or talks over others frequently.
3. 3. Try taking a breath. To get in the habit of pausing before you speak, practice taking a few breaths before you start to talk. While you are breathing, you are naturally pausing the conversation and giving yourself time to weigh your response. Keep in mind you can pair taking a breath with asking for more time to gather your thoughts. For example, if your manager asks you a question in a meeting, you could respond, “That’s a good question. Let me think for a moment.” Then take three breaths while you decide how you want to answer.
4. 4. Use the THINK acronym. A simple but effective mnemonic device, the THINK technique encourages you to choose your words with care. “THINK” stands for “true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind.” Before speaking, ask yourself if what you’re about to say aligns with each of those qualities. If your answer is “yes” to all five questions, then your thought is worth sharing.

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