How to Start a Conversation: 5 Conversation Starters

Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, initiating casual conversations with a group of people you’re meeting for the first time can be intimidating. Try these tips to help get the conversation going:

1. 1. Ask general questions. To start a group discussion at social events, ask broad, open-ended questions that anyone can answer. For instance, ask about bucket list trip destinations or dream jobs. Ask follow-up questions to help further the conversation.
2. 2. Comment on surroundings. One of the best icebreakers is to comment on the surroundings you share with a person or group. At a concert, ask what others think about the opening act or how long they’ve been a fan of the headliner, or ask the person in front of you at a coffee shop if they have a favorite restaurant they recommend in the area.
3. 3. Develop common ground. Discovering a commonality breaks the ice and makes two strangers feel more comfortable. For example, if you’re at a party, ask how everyone knows the host, or, if you’re at a volunteer event, ask the other volunteers how they got involved with the organization.
4. 4. Focus on favorites. Asking about a person’s favorite movie, TV show, podcast, or book is a great conversation starter. In addition to media, ask about favorite places to travel, favorite foods, or the sports teams they follow. Talking about favorite things and what you do in your free time can break the ice and open the discussion to discover potential commonalities. Perhaps you share a favorite book or author—this can turn small talk into a deep conversation.
5. 5. Show genuine interest. Be an active listener and show interest in what the other person is saying through your body language; make eye contact and nod your head to show agreement. Asking relevant follow-up questions shows your interest and helps prevent any awkward silences or breaks in the conversation.

Here are some tips to help you improve your interpersonal communication skills and initiate conversations at your current job or a networking event:

• Ask for an opinion. Query your coworkers for their perspective or feedback on one of your active projects, or ask a potential mentor for career advice. This initiates a conversation and demonstrates you value your team member’s thoughts and ideas, which helps build trust and establish rapport.
• Give a compliment. Use a sincere compliment as an icebreaker. When praising a colleague, be genuine and specific. For example, congratulate them on a new assignment by saying, “Great work on your last piece. Your analysis was just what the project needed.”
• Prepare small talk questions. When you speak with colleagues at the office or a work-related event, prepare for a more productive conversation by formulating questions and topics beforehand. When your colleague asks, “how are you?” avoid a one-word answer; mention a movie you saw last week or an article you read last night and ask if they saw the movie or agree with the opinion in the article. This opens up the conversation and helps build friendly working relationships with colleagues.
  
• Share industry news. You share common ground in a work environment—you and your team members work in the same industry. Use this as a conversation topic; talk about trends in the field, or ask if they plan to attend an upcoming conference. As with any workplace conversation, pay attention to nonverbal cues and be self-aware; some colleagues may be introverts or too busy to chat at the moment.

Conversations about religion, politics, and finances are generally inappropriate in work environments. It is best to refrain from discussing your personal life and controversial topics with colleagues.

When gathering around a dinner table, consider using the following tips:

1. 1. Choose universal topics. For dinner parties, it is best to engage guests in small talk topics everyone can participate in, like the television shows they are watching or their work projects. Avoid discussions about people or issues the guests might not know, which can be isolating.
2. 2. Plan a discussion topic. For more structure, you can give guests a subject in advance so they can prepare. Perhaps you can select a classic film to discuss or pose some thought-provoking questions.
3. 3. Try an icebreaker. Fun icebreakers can liven up a party. You might ask guests to share what books they would read on a deserted island or about their celebrity crush. Ensure all guests have an opportunity to share their responses.

Whether on a first date or a one-hundredth date, consider the following conversation starters:

1. 1. Ask open-ended questions. Ask the other person general questions they can expand on, like “What was your childhood like?” Quick-fire, yes-or-no questions can feel like an interrogation.
2. 2. Begin with the basics. On a first date, begin the conversation with basic information about yourself. You might talk about where you grew up, your family, and how you like to spend your time. Engaging in active listening when the other person is speaking is essential.
3. 3. Engage in an activity. Participating in an activity on a date is a great way to kick off a conversation and keep the conversation flowing. For example, attending a baseball game or taking a cooking class will provide several conversation topics.

When beginning a conversation with strangers or acquaintances online, consider the following steps:

1. 1. Be personal. Start conversations online with a personal greeting. Bring up information from the person’s dating profile or professional networking page to show you have done the research. In general, impersonal salutations like “hello” and “hi,” are less likely to get a response.
2. 2. Establish a connection. When beginning a virtual conversation, it is essential to establish a connection with the person. Maybe you have a mutual friend or are reaching out to compliment a social media post. Be clear in who you are and why you are messaging this person to avoid confusion.
3. 3. Keep your message short. Avoid beginning a conversation online with lengthy posts or messages with attachments, which can be off-putting. Present a clear directive or ask of the other person.

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