How to Overcome Perfectionism: 5 Tips for Perfectionists

Perfectionism is a set of mental and behavioral habits that insist upon unrealistically high standards for personal conduct and achievement. When a perfectionist inevitably doesn’t meet these standards, they may harshly self-critique. Perfectionism can lead to low self-esteem, procrastination, burnout, and emotional disorders. It is possible to identify perfectionist tendencies and work to overcome them through self-care practices.

There are three forms of perfectionism:

1. 1. Self-oriented perfectionism: Self-oriented perfectionism occurs when a person sets unrealistic standards for themselves, even though they are impossible. While they may think they simply are a high achiever, they can be setting themselves up for burnout.
2. 2. Other-oriented perfectionism: This type of perfectionism directs the perfectionist’s expectations toward another person or group of people. This can have negative social and workplace consequences and intensely strain interpersonal relationships.
3. 3. Socially-prescribed perfectionism: Socially-prescribed perfectionism refers to perfectionism that one feels outside forces impose on them. Many young people, particularly college students, feel the pressure to succeed from family and teachers and experience this kind of perfectionism.

Perfectionism can have several effects, from mild hindrances to severe emotional disorders. Consider the following effects of perfectionism that can help you identify perfectionist tendencies:

1. 1. Unrealistic expectations: Central to perfectionism is the idea that you can be perfect at any task. Since this is technically impossible, it will inevitably lead to disappointment and frustration with the results. Despite this contradiction, perfectionists keep believing that they can do better, a goal that keeps shifting no matter how they improve.
2. 2. Low self-esteem: Perfectionists may suffer from low self-esteem. Perfectionists often cannot achieve desired high expectations and blame themselves with harsh self-talk. Over time, this compounds and produces poor self-worth.
3. 3. Fear of failure: Much of perfectionism derives from a deep fear of failure. This makes perfectionism worse, as it becomes harder to withstand the anxiety related to never succeeding. This prospect of failure can prohibit a perfectionist from attempting new tasks.
4. 4. Procrastination: Another form of perfectionist behavior is chronic procrastination. As with fear of failure, the performance pressure can push a person to postpone necessary tasks continually. Since the standard is perfection, it becomes challenging to begin or finish projects.
5. 5. Burnout: The constant pressure perfectionists experience can be exhausting, often leading to burnout. This can be confusing since perfectionists often spend a lot of time worrying about their tasks rather than working on them. The emotional strain can eventually lead to symptoms of burnout, like physical exhaustion, depression, and irritability.
6. 6. Compulsive disorder: Perfectionism can also manifest as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). This kind of maladaptive thinking, which involves repetitive behaviors or thought patterns, may be related to the unrealistic expectations of the perfectionist mindset and can become a kind of debilitating behavioral trap.
7. 7. Other emotional disorders: Perfectionism can lead to several emotional issues if left unchecked. Anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and other serious psychological conditions can result. This can be especially severe in adolescents, whose still-forming minds can be affected in profound ways.

Perfectionism can be a hard habit to break, but you can overcome it with some effort and help. Below are some approaches to letting go of perfectionism and embracing a more realistic, healthy approach to work and life:

1. 1. Build self-awareness. The work of overcoming perfectionist traits begins with becoming aware of them in the first place. To many people, perfectionism is synonymous with high standards and conscientiousness. However, you must address these tendencies when they start to have negative consequences, such as adverse health issues.
2. 2. Keep a journal. Recording your thoughts and impressions can help you notice perfectionism in your behavior. You can use apps for this purpose or a regular written journal. This practice can help you work against your tendency to be overly self-critical, first by observing this tendency and then consciously seeking to counteract it.
3. 3. Practice self-compassion. One of the most effective ways to combat perfectionism is to practice compassion for yourself. Self-compassion can help you overcome self-criticism and the mental confinement of perfectionist thinking. As you learn to forgive yourself when you make mistakes, take note of your admirable qualities and acts, and embrace your imperfections.
4. 4. Seek therapy. Licensed therapists and mental health specialists can help perfectionists identify and overcome perfectionist behaviors. Through modalities like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), healthy and compassionate behavior can gradually replace negative thought patterns and the bad habits of perfectionism.
5. 5. Look at the big picture. Gaining a sense of perspective can be helpful in healing perfectionist habits. Often, perfectionists get stuck on tasks and in mental loops with short-term consequences and overlook big life questions and priorities. By reframing how you look at life, you can gain some control over your perfectionist tendencies and improve your general sense of well-being.

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