How to Officiate a Wedding: Checklist for a Wedding Officiant

A wedding officiant is the person who leads a couple through their wedding vows and the ceremony as a whole. They will also sign the marriage license to make the wedding legally binding. This allows for the issuance of a marriage certificate. For religious weddings, the officiant is often the couple’s pastor, priest, rabbi, imam, or spiritual leader. For more secular or civil ceremonies, the officiant could be a justice of the peace, close friend, or family member.

Some couples do not belong to a religious denomination and would rather have a loved one lead the ceremony on their big day. Others might be religious and yet still opt to select someone besides their spiritual leader to perform the ceremony. Couples select their officiants based on who they think will be most attuned to their needs and desires for the big day.

With the right certifications, almost anyone can officiate a wedding. To perform a legal marriage, you must have power granted to you by the state. It’s possible for a person of any religious denomination to receive this, as well as for people who have no background in a particular faith.

Ordained ministers, rabbis, and the like are the go-to choices for religious marriage ceremonies. For civil or secular ceremonies, friends or family members can receive ordination through streamlined services to perform their officiant duties in accordance with local and state laws.

Depending on who ordains you, it can take anywhere from a day to years to become a wedding officiant. For a secular wedding, certain organizations will ordain you online within the course of a day. Coordinate your ordination early on in the wedding planning process so the couple will have nothing to worry about in terms of the union’s legality.

If you want to perform a religious ceremony, you might have to go through years of schooling in seminary to qualify as a spiritual leader in your religious denomination. In this path, ordination for marriage is only one aspect of your training for leadership.

It’s essential to treat officiating a wedding with the gravitas and preparation it deserves. These are the steps to keep in mind if you plan to become a marriage officiant:

1. 1. Check marriage laws. Each country, state, or even city might have different legal requirements for who can perform weddings. You might have to jump through certain hoops in New York City that you wouldn’t in San Francisco, for example. Check with your city clerk to see what you need to do to officiate a local wedding.
2. 2. Meet with the couple. Try to meet with the couple in person or over video conferencing to go over what they want their ceremony to include. If you already know the couple well, you might have some idea to start with, but talking with them will help you solidify your path forward. Other members of the wedding party could give you input, too, to make the day special.
3. 3. Obtain ordination. Follow the steps necessary to receive ordination from an entity the state treats as valid. Nonreligious online ordination can take a day or so. Other organizations like American Marriage Ministries (AMM) or Universal Life Church are quasi-spiritual but largely exist to facilitate the same quick ordination process. For religious ceremonies, it might take substantive time to receive ordination.
4. 4. Practice public speaking. If you already serve as a religious organization’s spiritual leader, you already have some public speaking skills under your belt. For friends and family members who will serve as officiants, it might take more time to feel comfortable in front of a crowd. Find scenarios in which you can speak in front of others to prepare for the couple’s special day.
5. 5. Put together a script. Craft a template or wedding ceremony script so you can stay on track during the marriage proceedings. You’ll guide the couple through the exchange of rings, vows, and declaration of intent (or “I do’s”). You’ll also make the pronouncement of their marriage at the end of the ceremony. Ask if they’d like you to include details about their love story, too.
6. 6. Rehearse ahead of time. Practice ahead of time as many times as possible to make the day itself flow seamlessly. Double-checking with the couple about what they want in their ceremony is always a good idea. Put in all the effort you can to ensure the day goes off without a hitch, especially if this is your first wedding.
7. 7. Sign the marriage certificate. After you perform the ceremony, you still have one more important task to fulfill. Accompany the couple down to the city or county clerk’s office so you can sign for their civil marriage license. A notary public might help in the proceedings as well.

Have a wedding to plan? Learn how to take on the process strategically. Discover Mindy Weiss’s approach to setting a budget, choosing a theme, and sending invitations when you sign up for the MasterClass Annual Membership.