How to Make Out: 5 Tips to Improve Your Make-Out Session

Making out is a colloquial American term for a sexual activity involving two (or more) people engaging in deep kissing and non-penetrative sexual touching (heavy petting). Making out can include French kissing, kissing each other’s necks (necking), grazing erogenous zones, and sucking and licking earlobes.

Passionate kissing is a common sexual activity that often serves as the first point of sexual contact for new couples. Here’s a step-by-step guide for making out:

1. 1. Choose a comfortable setting. To facilitate a satisfying make-out session, you’ll need a safe space where you can concentrate on the matter at hand. A bedroom or private area is a great place to start a make-out session. To elevate the mood, consider lighting a few candles or turning on some romantic music.
2. 2. Face your partner. Find a comfortable place to sit or stand, then face your partner so that your eyes are at the same level, making eye contact to deepen your connection. If it’s your first time making out and you want to send a few signals that you’re comfortable and in the mood, try briefly glancing at your partner’s lips and then back up to their eyes. Pay attention to their body language and see if they do the same, smile, or start to lean in—those are positive signs that they may be interested, too.
3. 3. Lean in and tilt your head. Once you know that your partner is interested, lean in to press your lips to your partner’s, tilting your head, so your noses don’t bump together. You may both accidentally tilt in the same direction at first; if this happens, simply redirect your head so that you’re tilting in opposite directions.
4. 4. Begin with your lips. While it may be tempting to start with a French kiss, building up to a deeper kiss can be incredibly sensual for both parties. Begin with a few closed-mouth, tongueless kisses. Press your lips to your partner’s, alternating between light brushes of your lips and more powerful kisses, then closed- and open-mouthed kisses. While you can leave your hands at your sides, adding a gentle caress can be enjoyable for the other party. With your partner’s consent, gently place your hands on their waist, back, or face as you kiss.
5. 5. Initiate a French kiss. After a few tongueless kisses, begin lightly brushing your tongue along your partner’s lips. This move is a non-verbal way of asking permission to take the kiss further—if your partner extends their tongue in response, they are ready to begin French kissing. However, if your partner doesn’t extend their tongue, they may not be comfortable just yet, and you should continue with your tongueless kisses. If you receive the green light to deepen the kiss, part your lips and gently use your tongue to stimulate your partner’s lips and tongue. Run your tongue along their lips or slide your tongue along theirs. Take it slowly and gently, allowing the intensity to build as you match your partner’s energy and movements. If your partner likes hugging during kisses, use your hands to hold them close.
6. 6. Let your hands explore. Your hands are a powerful tool that you can use to give your partner pleasure during a make-out session. During the passionate kiss, use your hands to hold your partner and make them feel desired. Caress, squeeze, or grip your partner’s face, lower back, upper back, chest, or neck with varying levels of pressure to stimulate these erogenous zones. Run your fingers through their hair or lightly tug to stimulate their scalp. If you know your partner is comfortable, you can also caress their glutes, chest, or genitals. It’s important to pay attention to your partner’s comfort levels when using your hands—especially if you’re in a new relationship. Ask permission or check in with your partner before touching sensitive parts of their body.
7. 7. Finish. Making out can be an enjoyable activity all on its own, without it progressing to anything further. If you and your partner don’t want to move on to more intimate activities, simply make out until you both feel satisfied. However, making out can also be a powerful part of foreplay. If you and your partner are in the mood to transition to sexual intercourse, move your hands to begin stimulating your partner’s body more directly (especially the glutes, chest, or genitals) to initiate.

Here are some techniques that can help improve your next make-out session:

1. 1. Use your whole body. When you first start making out with someone, you may notice that there may be some distance between your body and your partner’s. If you want to increase your make-out session’s intensity, close this gap by pressing yourself against your partner’s body. This physical contact can bring both you and your partner’s attention to your bodies rather than just your lips and can be an easy, comfortable way to initiate more physical contact.
2. 2. Keep your kisses varied. Using the same kissing technique throughout a single make-out session can leave you or your partner feeling uninspired or bored. Change up your kissing style as you go. For instance, you can swirl your tongue around the tip of your partner’s, use your lips to create a gentle suction for your partner’s bottom lip, upper lip, or tongue, or trace your tongue along your partner’s lips. By cycling through different kissing techniques, you’ll demonstrate different intensities of your desire—kiss them powerfully, and you’ll send powerful signals of desire; kiss them lightly, and leave them wanting more.
3. 3. Move away from their lips. Make-out sessions aren’t just about kissing on the mouth—wandering away from your partner’s mouth can increase their desire and stimulate other erogenous zones. During the session, let your mouth move away from your partner’s lips to kiss down their jawline, along their cheeks, against their ear, down their neck, or across their chest. If you give your partner a hickey (a bruise-like spot that remains after you suck on their skin), ask permission first—hickies can last for several days, and your partner may not want one in a visible place.
4. 4. Introduce teeth. If you and your partner are comfortable, introducing a gentle nibble into a make-out session can be a great way to increase the intensity. The difference in sensation—from the softness of your lips and tongue to the hard surface of your teeth—can draw your partner’s attention and add some dramatic flair to the experience. To use your teeth while kissing, take your partner’s upper or lower lip in your mouth and press lightly with your teeth; other good places to try nibbling are your partner’s jawline, ear lobes, neck, collarbone, and shoulders.
5. 5. Ask for feedback. Whether it’s your first time or you’re an experienced kisser, getting feedback can help you learn from your experiences and become a better kisser and sexual partner. After your make-out session winds down, consider asking your partner what they did and didn’t like about the experience. Be courteous—if they have a few critiques, accept them thankfully and avoid getting defensive or upset. Next time you make out—whether with the same partner or someone new—make a conscious effort to implement that feedback for an even better experience.

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