How to Make Friends: Tips for Cultivating Adult Friendships

It might seem difficult to meet people at first, but the reality is almost everyone would be happy to have another great companion in their lives. Keep these tips in mind as you try to make potential new friends:

• Attend social gatherings. If you keep to yourself all the time, you’ll find it next to impossible to meet others. Try going to bars or local music venues. Consider attending a book club. Reach out to like-minded people and see if they might want to connect. If you just moved to a new city, seek groups of people who share your hobbies. For example, you might join a gym, take a jewelry-making class, or enroll in a foreign language class.
• Connect with people you already know. You might already have a phone number for a potential new friend in your contacts list. Perhaps you could connect on a deeper level with one of your coworkers. Maybe you could rekindle a relationship with an old friend from high school. In the age of social media, you can easily reach out to people you know even in a tangential way.
• Get outside your comfort zone. It’s normal to feel some amount of social anxiety when trying to make new friends. Making small talk with a stranger can be nerve-racking for anyone. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, do your best to implement positive social skills. Use open body language. Make eye contact. Listen as much as you speak. Always be yourself regardless.
• Pursue your interests. You’ll have an easier time meeting your next best friend if you both share similar interests. When you meet someone on the same wavelength as you, it’s easier to form an organic bond. Many social gatherings revolve around people coming together in light of a common goal or passion. For example, if you’re an athlete, try joining an amateur sports team. If you like comedy, give an improv class a try.
• Use apps suited to social connection. You can meet new friends from the comfort of your own home. Try networking apps designed to connect people on a platonic level. You can start your new friendship online and then allow it to blossom further in person. Exercise caution while taking this approach—it’s possible people might misrepresent their true identities online.

Making friends is just the beginning—keeping these relationships going requires effort from both people. These tips will help you be a good friend to others:

• Handle conflict with grace. Real life can get messy, and even the most lasting friendships might go through disruptive periods of conflict. Odds are, you’ll be unable to see eye to eye with your friend at one point or another. In circumstances like these, remember you can stand your ground while also respecting their viewpoints. Try to work out compromises with each other as you navigate any interpersonal issues.
• Keep your word. True friends maintain a policy of honesty through thick and thin. Keep your promises and follow through on what you say you will. Refrain from gossiping about your friend with other members of your social circle. If they hear you’ve been talking behind their back, their self-esteem will suffer. Not to mention, they’ll lose a great deal of trust in your friendship as well.
• Maintain balance. The best friendships rely on a mutual degree of give and take. Be a good listener without falling into the trap of becoming a people pleaser. Provide your friend with solace in times of trouble but attend to your own mental health and well-being, too. Spend time together while making space for yourselves as individuals.
• Reach out on the regular. Close friends follow up with each other when one messages or calls the other. Keep a steady flow of communication going to remind your friends you care about them. Especially in the early stages of friendship, make sure to give them space as well. Too many texts or calls all at once can be suffocating and intimidating. In general, allow your friend to reach back out to you after you make contact, as opposed to repeatedly calling or texting them.
• Share experiences. You and your friends likely have a multitude of common interests. Find events you can attend based on these shared passions. Get together to enjoy concerts, movies, sporting events, and more. As you create memories to last a lifetime, you’ll build an even stronger bond on top of your friendship’s initial foundation.

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