Hand Job Tips: How to Give a Great Hand Job

“Hand job” is a term that first appeared in the late 1930s to describe the act of stimulating a person’s genitals with your hands. Most people use the term “hand job” to refer to stimulating a penis and “fingering” to describe stimulating a vulva.

Experiment with these hand job techniques to find out what feels best for your partner.

1. 1. Learn the anatomy of the penis. Familiarizing yourself with the different parts of the penis can help you pinpoint exactly what feels good to your partner (and what doesn’t). The basic parts of the penis are the glans, or head of the penis; the shaft, which starts just below the head of the penis; the frenulum, a sensitive area on the underside of the penis where the glans and the shaft meet; and the testes, which are encased in loose skin called the scrotum. Between the scrotum and the anus is the perineum. The prostate is an internal organ that can be stimulated via anal penetration.
2. 2. Use lube. Most sex acts benefit from lubrication, and a hand job is no exception. Lube reduces friction and increases pleasure. Apply lube to your partner’s penis at the beginning of the hand job, and keep extra lube on hand—you’ll almost always want to reapply. If using coconut oil as a lube, keep in mind that it’s not compatible with condoms—silicone lube is a better choice if you’re using protection. (Saliva also works in an emergency.)
3. 3. Perfect your grip. Mastering your grip on the shaft is key to a good hand job. Start by wrapping your thumb and index finger around the base of the shaft, like you’re making the “OK” sign. Stroke up and down the length of the shaft, experimenting with the amount of pressure that feels good for your partner. Then, add the rest of your fingers, forming a fist around the shaft.
4. 4. Add a twist. If your partner likes the way it feels, add a gentle twisting motion in addition to up-and-down stroking. You can try twisting on the upstroke, downstroke, or both, or you can add your other hand and twist both hands in opposite directions. Just make sure your partner’s penis is well lubricated to avoid any painful friction.
   
5. 5. Try edging. To prolong your partner’s pleasure, try edging—bringing your partner close to orgasm, then backing off to prolong arousal. When your partner gets close to climax, slow down or stop altogether. Gently squeeze the head of the penis (or the head and the base of the shaft) to prevent ejaculation while maintaining your partner’s erection. Repeat this process until your partner is ready to orgasm.
6. 6. Make it a full-body experience. Foreplay can help get your partner in the mood, but once you’ve moved on to their penis, you don’t have to forget the rest of their body. That means teasing their inner thighs and perineum, stroking or penetrating their anus, stimulating their nipples—anything that feels good. The scrotum and testicles are erogenous zones; depending on what your partner prefers, you may try gently cradling their balls or applying more pressure. Experiment with stroking and stretching the scrotum, and use lube on this area, too.
7. 7. Add toys. Using sex toys during a hand job is a great way to stimulate multiple areas on your partner’s body. For example, try a butt plug in your partner’s anus while you simultaneously cradle their testicles and stroke their shaft.
8. 8. Pay attention. The most important part of giving a good hand job is to pay attention to your partner. Watch their body language and facial expressions and listen to their moans. Most people will give cues when they’re enjoying themselves. If not—ask them to describe what feels good or show you by masturbating, which can reveal exactly how tightly you can grip your partner’s penis.
   
9. 9. Try a combination hand job and blowjob. You can make your partner feel great using just a hand job or just a blow job—or you can try combining a hand job with oral sex. Try licking your partner’s balls while stroking the shaft of their penis with your hand.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).