Self-Pleasure Guide for Women

Fingering is a sexual technique that involves manual stimulation of the clitoris, vagina, or g-spot during masturbation, foreplay, or penetrative sex. You can perform fingering solo or with a partner of any gender identity or sexual orientation. For vulva owners, fingering the clitoris, a small sexual organ at the top of the vulva that contains thousands of nerve endings, is one of the main ways to achieve orgasm. Manually massaging the prostate gland (also known as the p-spot) can help penis owners reach a powerful prostate orgasm, which is typically more intense than penile orgasms.

Fingering is a core component of female masturbation and g-spot or p-spot stimulation. Here are a few tips to consider as you explore:

1. 1. Practice deep breathing. Take slow, deep breaths to relax and center yourself as you finger your vulva or anus. When you inhale, picture your breath going all the way down to your pelvic floor. As you exhale, focus on the sensations that your body feels. Deep breathing increases the blood flow to your pelvic area, which increases your sensitivity and arousal.
2. 2. Deemphasize an orgasm. Rather than prioritizing orgasms during your solo fingering session, focus on the exploratory element. Use your fingertips to explore the different erogenous zones on your body, like your arms, inner thighs, breasts, stomach, and other sensitive areas. Lightly grazing these areas can stimulate blood flow throughout your body and increase your sexual arousal.
3. 3. Embrace self-love. Fingering is a sexual technique and an act of self-love that allows you to honor your body while making yourself feel good. Throughout the process, use a mirror to look at your body as you receive self-pleasure. Watch as your labia and clitoris change appearance as blood vessels dilate in response to your arousal. Looking at yourself in the mirror as you masturbate may be challenging because it’s incredibly intimate, but be patient and give yourself time to adjust to seeing yourself in this light.

Fingering is a customizable technique that may require trying different approaches to determine what elicits the most pleasure. Learn more in our beginner’s guide to solo manual stimulation:

1. 1. Wash your hands. Wash your hands before manual stimulation to avoid introducing potentially harmful bacteria into your body. Wet your hands, then lather with soap for at least 20 seconds, clean under your fingernails, then rinse with hot water before drying.
2. 2. Set the mood. When engaging in any sexual activity, it’s important to create an inviting atmosphere where you feel safe and relaxed so you can enjoy the process without any distractions. Lock your door for privacy, turn on a sexy album, light a candle, or don lingerie to get yourself in the mood for your fingering session.
3. 3. Incorporate foreplay. Masturbation is just as much about mental readiness as it is physical pleasure. Foreplay can help build up to more intense sensations, but it’s easy to rush it or skip it when you’re alone. Read erotica, watch an adult film, or indulge in dry humping before manual stimulation to prime your body for pleasure.
4. 4. Touch your whole body. Instead of prioritizing a quick orgasm for your fingering session, slow down the process to elongate the pleasure. Concentrate on learning what kind of touch your body responds to most. Explore erogenous zones outside of your genitals: Run your fingertips over your arms, thighs, chest or breasts, stomach—or any other parts of your body where you’re sensitive.
5. 5. Use lube. The right lubricant can enhance any sexual encounter, and fingering is no exception: There are lubes formulated to relax, to warm, and even those that you can use in wet environments, like the shower or pool. Apply your lubrication of choice at the start and reapply as needed. Learn more about the different types of lube.
6. 6. Caress the clitoris or rectum. For vulva owners, massaging the clitoris is a great way to begin a fingering session. Start with the outer folds of the labia and the clitoris, making circular motions with your finger, side-to-side, or up and down. Apply different levels of pressure, and experiment with speed to see what feels best. For penis owners or others who desire manual anal stimulation, lubricate the anus and gently circle it with a finger.
7. 7. Start with a single finger. Slowly insert a finger into your vaginal opening and begin a slow stroking motion. When you’re ready, you can add another digit or more. To manually stimulate your p-spot, slowly insert one finger, giving your body time to acclimate to the sensation. Once you feel your anus or vagina relax, slowly begin moving your finger in a “come hither” motion to target the g-spot, or the prostate.
8. 8. Incorporate sex toys. Once you feel confident that you’ve made a connection with your body and developed a style of fingering that you love, take it to the next level by incorporating toys, like vibrators, dildos, or anal plugs.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).