How to Finger a Penis Owner: 3 Tips for Prostate Stimulation

Fingering is a sexual technique that involves manual stimulation of the genitals during masturbation, foreplay, or penetrative sex. You can perform fingering solo or with a partner of any gender identity or sexual orientation.

Many people use the term hand job to refer to the stimulation of the shaft of a penis, a sex act that typically involves the entire hand. Fingering, however, implies the use of individual fingers to stimulate the anus. Manually massaging the prostate gland—also known as the P-spot—can help penis owners reach a powerful prostate orgasm, which can feel more intense than penile orgasms.

Prostate stimulation can be immensely pleasurable. Learn to finger your partner by following these steps:

1. 1. Learn about your partner’s anatomy. The prostate is located below the bladder near the rectum. Since the prostate is an internal organ, you can’t stimulate it directly. The best way to stimulate the prostate is through the anus.
2. 2. Warm up. Foreplay is essential when engaging in prostate play. It is much easier to find the prostate when a penis owner is sexually aroused, because arousal triggers additional blood flow to the prostate, causing it to enlarge. Start by massaging other areas of your partner’s body, then stroke the penis and scrotum.
3. 3. External prostate stimulation. You can stimulate the prostate externally by massaging the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus. Vibration can also be pleasurable in this erogenous zone, so consider using a vibrator. Some people can reach orgasm from perineum stimulation alone.
4. 4. Add lube. As with all types of anal play, lube provides for maximum comfort. First, apply lubricant around the rim of the anus and then inside as well. Once your partner feels warmed up, apply more lube to your finger or prostate toy before insertion.
5. 5. Locate the prostate. To find the prostate, insert your finger or an anal toy into the anus about two inches deep. If you’re using your index finger, this will be about two knuckles deep. Angle your finger or prostate toy toward the belly button, and you should feel the prostate through the rectum's front wall. It’s about the size of a walnut and will feel firm.

Like any sex technique, fingering the anus takes practice.

1. 1. Start small. If your partner is new to anal sex, gently work your way up to penetration. Starting with your pinky finger or a small butt plug, insert the tip of the digit or sex toy. Coach your partner’s breathing, asking them to exhale each time you place the object further into the anus. When your partner is ready for more girth, you can move to a larger finger or a thicker butt plug or dildo. For the most comfortable experience, trim your fingernails and wear a glove, finger cot, or condom over your finger, and be sure to use plenty of lube.
2. 2. Take your time. Give your partner time to feel at ease. Refrain from immediately massaging the prostate. Instead, give your partner at least thirty seconds to get used to the feeling of your finger in their body. Once they are relaxed, you can begin to move your finger.
3. 3. Massage the prostate. There are numerous ways you can massage the prostate, but it's best to begin slowly and build up speed and pressure once you know what your partner enjoys. Using the pad of your fingertip, stroke the prostate using a come-hither gesture. You can also try tapping it, stroking it in a circular motion, or even putting pressure on it without moving your finger at all. Pay attention to how your partner responds to each technique, and ask for feedback.

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