How Important Is Sex in a Relationship? 3 Benefits of Sex

Sex is a physical bonding activity that can be an important part of many types of relationships—including monogamous, polyamorous, and open partnerships—because it can offer increased emotional intimacy, a stronger self-image for each partner, and stress relief.

Avoid looking for a one-size-fits-all solution to sex in a relationship; you can have a strong, healthy relationship regardless of the amount of sexual activity. While many people require frequent sexual activity for a strong romantic relationship, many others—including asexual individuals and those with low libidos—enjoy deep and meaningful partnerships without using sex as a key component.

In relationships in which each partner feels sexual desire and wants to be sexually active, a healthy sex life can offer significant benefits, including:

1. 1. A stronger self-image: Sexual activity is a physical act that emphasizes the pleasure your body can give and receive; mindful, regular sex can increase confidence, self-esteem, and body positivity for each partner, allowing you to carry these feelings into other areas of your life.
2. 2. Increased intimacy: Sexual activity is a type of physical intimacy that releases the hormone oxytocin, which produces feelings of emotional connection and intimacy. Therefore, sex can deepen the bonds between partners and foster feelings of closeness, emotional well-being, and relationship satisfaction.
3. 3. Stress relief: Good sex is a stress-relieving activity that releases endorphins, producing feelings of relaxation and satisfaction that can help melt away the stresses of a difficult day. In the same way, sexual satisfaction and orgasm can help foster better sleep.

Communication about sexual intimacy is vital in any healthy sexual relationship because it allows each participant to build a connection that is more in tune with each partner’s desires and comfort zones. Here are a few tips to help you talk to your partners about sex:

1. 1. Avoid critical statements. It’s normal for sexual partners to be sensitive when talking about intimacy (especially if it’s your first time communicating like this), so be as kind and positive as possible. Rather than saying, “I wish we had more oral sex,” try a more encouraging phrasing like “I love it when you go down on me—it would turn me on a lot if you did it even more.” Avoid phrasing that could sound accusatory; where possible, frame your comments as “I-statements” or “we-statements.” For example, try “I would love it if we tried…” or “Would it be fun if we tried…” rather than “you-statements” like “You should…” or “What if you tried…” to shift the focus and tone.
2. 2. Avoid focusing on sexual frequency. You can have a good sex life regardless of the amount of sex you engage in; it’s about staying in tune with each partner’s interests and sexual desires. This may mean less sex but higher-quality sex, or it may mean planning masturbation sessions when one partner isn’t feeling in the mood. When you talk about sex with your partner or partners, keep in mind that the goal is mutual wellness rather than more sex.
3. 3. Be open and honest. Talking openly and truthfully is essential for a healthy sexual conversation. The information you share helps your partner or partners improve their understanding of your sexual preferences and encourages them to share their desires honestly. Being up-front and honest about your feelings around sex will create a safe space for you to develop your sexual relationship together; the best sex is sex that is collaborative and trusting.
4. 4. Choose a calm and comforting moment. Sex can be a difficult and sensitive subject for many people, so ensure conversations about sex happen in spaces that feel safe and relaxed. Avoid initiating the conversation during or immediately after a difficult moment; instead, try talking during a relaxed cuddling session or in a room other than the bedroom. This creates a safer, less charged space for open discussion.
5. 5. Discuss libido and interest. Sex is only a beneficial part of a relationship if each partner wants it. If you find that your partner seems less interested in sex than you are, sit down and have an honest conversation with them. Ask if there are things in their life that seem to get in the way of their sex drive, if there is a type of sex they’re interested in that you haven’t explored together yet, or if they have a major sexual turnoff they haven’t shared yet. Investigate the other areas of the relationship you could improve together to work toward a healthier sex life.
6. 6. Involve a sex therapist. If you or your partner or partners struggle to communicate about your sexual relationship or insecurities, consider consulting a sexual health professional to help facilitate the conversation and help you work toward a healthier bond and better sex.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).