Fetishes and Kinks: 8 Sexual Fetishes

A sexual fetish is a way of pleasuring that must be part of the sexual experience for sexual gratification. Sexual fetishes are often specific—such as spanking with paddles—but what makes them a fetish is that they must be present for sexual satisfaction. Sometimes, partners share a fetish—such as BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism)—in which case one operates as the submissive partner (sub) and the other as the dominant one (dom), and each derives sexual pleasure from the other.

Sexual desire is highly unique, so one person’s preference might seem out there, while others think it is ordinary and safe. Practicing safe sex is paramount, meaning explicit consent is essential for fetishists and all others, and there should also be a safe word to stop sexual activity should one need to stop or get a break.

A kink is a sexual interest a partner may pursue because it excites them. Kinky sex may gently test the boundaries of someone’s comfort zone by having them try a new sex position or incorporate sex toys. A kink will be a turn-on for at least one partner, and the other may participate because they will be curious or aroused by their partner’s arousal.

Some people in the kink community may seek out new kinks as a form of sexual attraction, and sometimes couples may try out a kink for the first time to spice up their sex life. Sometimes, a sex therapist will suggest couples explore kinks to rekindle their mutual attraction or deepen their sexual relationship.

Fetishes and kinks both pertain to sexual desire, and each implies a form of sexual deviance. Fetishes and kinks differ in one elemental way. A kink is when a person derives sexual arousal or pleasure from a nontraditional source but is not dependent upon it for arousal. Alternately, a person with a fetish typically requires interaction with their specific sexual interest for arousal or sexual gratification.

In cultures where discussing sex is taboo, kinks and fetishes exist outside the norm. The missionary position is a common sex position, but many people explore other ones, where exploration into kinks and fetishes can begin. It is important to note that everyone has their own relationship with sex and desire. Normalizing that idea can invite others to try out different kinds of sex with consenting partners.

There are many different fetishes people can explore in their sexual behavior. Some of the most common fetishes include:

1. 1. Age play: Age play involves consensually fictionalizing the ages of each partner. Calling someone “baby” during sex is a typical age play. Sometimes, this common kink is more pronounced, as with “daddy dom/baby girl” scenarios. Calling a partner “mommy” or “little boy” may also be a part of age play.
2. 2. Foot play: Some people get pleasure by touching, massaging, kissing, or licking parts of the feet or toes or having those actions done to them. People with a foot fetish might enjoy others rubbing their feet over their genitals as foreplay.
3. 3. Impact play: This fetish involves one partner receiving impact. Impact play might include spanking, whipping, or flogging. Light gagging with a ball gag might be someone’s impact fetish, whether that person is the choker or choked. For sexual acts involving momentary asphyxiation, it is crucial to have a clear safe word or action that deliberately stops the fetish for everyone’s safety.
4. 4. Role play: Dressing up can help loosen people up and get them to take on a new persona. Common dominatrix role-play kinks include portraying an educator and student, doctor and patient, or, in a more masochist bent, a disciplinarian and wrongdoer.
5. 5. Stigmatophilia: A fetish of piercings on body parts is known as stigmatophilia. Piercings can increase sensitivity in erogenous zones, including nipples, genitals, and tongues, so these can help stimulate each partner’s arousal during sex.
6. 6. Urophilia: This fetish, also known as water sports, is sexual arousal involving urine. Peeing on a partner can be arousing for some people, and this act, known as a golden shower, often occurs in the shower or outdoors to avoid making a mess of floors.
7. 7. Voyeurism: This is a kind of exhibitionism in which the voyeur watches other people having sex or one person masturbating. Those engaging in sexual voyeurism must consent to have a person watch them.

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