Emotional Resilience: How to Build Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience (also called psychological resilience or stress resilience) is the measure of a person’s ability to manage stress and regulate their reactions and response. A person with high emotional resilience remains calm during stressful periods and makes a plan to work through the stressors and get back to a state of comfortable well-being. A person with low emotional resilience may encounter stressful periods and act excessively angrily or feel overwhelmed and unable to react.

Personal resilience is a vital part of your emotional well-being. Emotional resilience includes:

1. 1. A firm sense of social support: Emotionally resilient people feel they have a firm foundation of support from close friends, family members, and loved ones. This support web exists whether the person is in calm periods or times of stress.
2. 2. A strong sense of self: Emotionally resilient individuals feel comfortable and secure with themselves and their sense of purpose, including their self-esteem, self-confidence, self-awareness, self-regulation, and emotional intelligence. This inner strength makes them feel emotionally grounded and confident in their decision-making and problem-solving abilities.
3. 3. Confidence in the fact things will get better: Emotional resilience is all about bouncing back from difficulties, so people with high emotional resilience feel confident and secure in their ability to weather stressful situations and get back to a happy, comfortable place.
4. 4. Flexibility: Being able to modify your plan along the way is a major component of emotional resilience. Flexibility allows you to adapt to changing situations and navigate complex stressors without feeling overwhelmed or hopeless when things unfold unexpectedly or plans shift.
5. 5. Healthy coping mechanisms: Strategies for stress management are essential to making it through tough times; emotionally resilient people have healthy coping mechanisms they can deploy quickly after encountering traumatic events, allowing them to channel their upset feelings in a constructive and positive way.
6. 6. The ability to stay calm during stress: Those with high emotional resilience can remain calm and collected during stressful events; emotion regulation allows them to plan how to manage the stress effectively and ultimately navigate through it. They may still feel upset about the stress, but their emotional response is measured.

There are many ways you can build resilience, whether you’re currently under a lot of stress or you want to get a proactive jump-start. Here are a few ways you can start building emotional resilience:

1. 1. Acknowledge the stress. The first step in dealing with stress is emotional awareness or acknowledging that the stress exists. If you notice yourself feeling tense or stressed out, stop for a moment and ask yourself what is bothering you and why. Try to get down to the source of the stress, whether it’s tied to a deep anxiety or it’s simply a passing annoyance. As you identify the stress, remember it’s okay (and healthy) to feel upset when times get tough. Allow yourself to feel negative emotions—then determine how to approach the problem with positive emotions.
2. 2. Break down the work into smaller pieces. Many people with low emotional resilience have a difficult time tackling big stressors, and they may feel unable to act. The process of approaching large problems is essential to building emotional resilience. To practice, work at breaking large tasks into smaller, bite-sized pieces. Make a checklist of ordered steps for solving the problem, so you can clearly see what you have to do next without feeling overwhelmed by the tasks further down.
3. 3. Embrace change and flexibility. One of the key factors of emotional resilience is flexibility, which allows you to course-correct to account for changing situations and new stressors. To practice this skill, identify an area or two in your life where you’re resisting change—whether that’s something big like moving houses or something small like trying a new restaurant—and make a conscious effort to embrace change where it’s healthy.
4. 4. Identify your coping strategies. Every emotionally resilient person has a handful of healthy coping skills to self-soothe during times of stress—things like an art practice, reading, exercise, or other hobbies. Identify what strategies you consistently turn to when you’re stressed, and determine if you want to continue using them in the long-term and how you can best use them effectively.
5. 5. Practice self-love. Emotional resilience means feeling confident and comfortable. It’s vital to take steps to love yourself now so you can stay strong during times of stress. Make a list of the things you like about yourself, and consistently remind yourself why you’re worthy of love. Write a handful of affirmations you can say to yourself each morning or take weekly time to do a personal self-care or self-compassion routine.
6. 6. Start with your thoughts. While many techniques for building emotional resilience focus on external actions, that’s only one piece of the puzzle. All actions start first as thoughts, which means you can build emotional resilience by practicing positive, calm thinking. Keep a regular gratitude journal to remind yourself of the good things in your life, or begin a deep-breathing or meditation routine to remain present and relaxed even in the face of emotional pain.

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