Eloping Meaning: How to Elope

Eloping is the process of getting married in an intimate—sometimes secretive—fashion. This contrasts with the typical approach to marriage, in which there’s a long waiting period after an engagement followed by a large wedding ceremony and reception for all the newlyweds’ family and friends.

The definition of eloping might change depending on which couple is considering it. While the term “elopement” initially meant getting married in secret against parental wishes, it only occasionally means the same thing now. Eloping can now refer to everything from a marriage ceremony involving just the couple to a small destination wedding with immediate family and best friends.

Each eloping couple likely has unique reasons for prioritizing an intimate wedding over a big event. Here are some of the most common reasons couples elope:

• Budgetary constraints: Medium-sized to big weddings cost tens of thousands of dollars. Elopement gives couples with budgetary restraints the ability to plan a micro wedding of their dreams without worrying about breaking the bank. Some couples might also opt to put the money they would have spent on a bigger traditional wedding toward a destination micro wedding instead.
• More freedom: Elopement gives you and your partner the freedom to do whatever you want for your wedding. Maybe that means a quiet ceremony in a state park surrounded by waterfalls or saying “I do” atop a San Francisco or New York skyscraper. You have the freedom to choose any specific location and time of year for your small wedding. You can elope anywhere in the world at any time of year and at any time of day.
• Personal preferences: Everyone’s idea of the perfect elopement will differ. Some couples might want to just take a trip down to city hall to get their marriage license on a weekday. Others might target a destination elopement in a far-off locale like Iceland or New Zealand.
• Stress reduction: A lot of couples choose to elope because it can prove to be a more stress-free option. Traditional wedding planning is a year-round affair full of moving parts, massive guest lists, and lots of pressure. The elopement planning process can prove to be much more easygoing.

While the term elopement might mean different things to different people, it always suggests a couple has decided to prioritize intimacy over size for their wedding ceremony. Keep the steps in this elopement guide in mind as you plan your own:

• Figure out costs. Elopements are, by and large, much less costly than weddings—still, you should set a budget. If you want to plan an adventure elopement ceremony in some exotic locale, pricing for special use permits, travel tickets, and other incidentals might quickly add up. By contrast, a trip to the local courthouse or city hall will be much less of a concern on this front.
• Prepare for ramifications. Recognize some people might feel hurt by your decision to wed without their knowledge or involvement. Be kind and considerate, but stay true to yourselves as a couple, too. Dispel any misconceptions your closest friends or family members might have about why you chose to take this path together as a couple rather than invite them to a big celebration.
• Recruit necessary vendors. While you likely won’t need a wedding planner for your own elopement, you might still want to take advantage of other vendors for your intimate soirée. Ask a florist for wildflowers. Think about having a wedding photographer or videographer capture your day on film. These sorts of vendors often offer less pricey elopement packages in situations like this.
• Research elopement locations. When you elope, anywhere in the world can become a wedding venue. You can get married in a Las Vegas hotel, in California’s Big Sur or Redwood National Park, or in a different country altogether. Scope out the sort of ceremony locations you think you and your future spouse will remember for a lifetime.
• Take the legal steps necessary. Avoid leaving the legal aspects of marriage to the last minute. Each state and locale might have different marriage laws on the books. See who qualifies as an officiant and if you’ll need any witnesses. Check in with the county clerk about what it’ll take to receive a marriage certificate.

Planning your elopement day is all about deciding what you want to do to make your day together special, as well as who (if anyone) you want to be there with you, too. Here are some tips for planning your special day:

1. 1. Consider inviting a small group. Unless you want a private wedding between just the two of you, think about inviting a handful of close friends, family members, and other loved ones to celebrate with you. You can enjoy the best of both worlds by inviting the people who mean the most to you while still enjoying the intimacy of a small gathering.
2. 2. Define what you want. After you’ve made the decision to forgo a traditional wedding for an intimate ceremony, talk more with your partner about their ideal elopement experience. You have so many possible options available to you. At the end of the day, you have the power and prerogative to choose the memories you want to make together that day.
3. 3. Follow up with a celebration. Even if you decide to elope entirely by yourselves, you can still celebrate your big day in a more low-key way with friends and loved ones after the fact. Throw a small party celebrating your new union. If you hired an elopement photographer, see if they’ll take pictures at this small reception, too.
4. 4. Indulge in traditions you appreciate. Make an elopement checklist of any elements you want to borrow from a traditional wedding experience. Perhaps you still want to wear a wedding dress or a boutonniere. Maybe you’d like to share a first dance by playing some music on high-quality speakers. You can make the experience whatever you want it to be.

Have a wedding to plan? Learn how to take on the process strategically. Discover Mindy Weiss’s approach to setting a budget, choosing a theme, and sending invitations when you sign up for the MasterClass Annual Membership.