How to Show Effort in a Relationship: 5 Ways to Make an Effort

Healthy, happy relationships aren’t fairytale romances; they’re built when people show up for each other consistently. Putting in the effort to meet your partner’s needs makes them feel loved, secure, and cared for. At the same time, it’s also important to make sure you’re communicating your relationship needs, getting support, and taking the time to care for your own well-being.

By and large, long-term relationships are successful when both partners put in an equal amount of effort, though this can take different forms. Whether it’s the little things or being there for each other during major life events, there are many ways to put effort into your relationships. Consider these pieces of relationship advice when it comes to making an effort in your relationship:

1. 1. Show affection: Showing your partner physical affection is a great way to demonstrate your feelings and make them feel loved. If your partner isn’t a fan of public displays of affection, be sure to show affection in environments where they feel comfortable. However, there are many other ways to show your affection—send them a text message to say you’re thinking of them, give them a compliment. Showing affection helps you both feel more connected, helps with insecurities, and can boost self-esteem.
2. 2. Spend quality time together: Spending time together is one of the most important parts of every healthy relationship. Set aside time for date nights, pay attention to when your partner has a bad day, and talk about the things that are important to both of you.
3. 3. Remember and celebrate important dates: Remembering significant dates, such as your anniversary or your partner’s birthday, shows your partner that you’re making an effort. Not everyone is naturally good at remembering dates. Keep a calendar to help you remember when an important date is coming up so that you can be prepared to celebrate it.
4. 4. Maintain your mental health and physical health: In order to take care of others, you have to take care of yourself first. By prioritizing your own well-being, you’re showing your partner that you care enough about them to make sure they get the best possible version of you.
5. 5. Keep the romance alive: Sex and intimacy are key components of a happy relationship. While it’s natural for your sex life to change over time, a struggling sex life can be an indicator of a lack of effort in the relationship. Talk with your partner about their needs and your own, to ensure that you’re equally fulfilled in your sex life.

Couples often break up because of a lack of effort. Every relationship requires a different amount of effort to thrive. However, there are some tell-tale signs that a relationship is suffering from a lack of effort.

1. 1. Lack of communication: If you and your significant other aren’t speaking as frequently as you used to, it could be a sign that something’s wrong with the relationship. Perhaps you talk frequently but find it difficult to say things like, “I love you” or “I’m sorry.” Learning how to communicate in your relationship can help you address unresolved issues and express your feelings.
2. 2. Lack of physical intimacy: Your sex life is often a good indicator of whether or not things are going well in the relationship. If you or your partner are feeling unfulfilled in the bedroom, put in the effort to learn how to enhance your sex life.
3. 3. Lack of quality time spent together: Even if you don’t see your loved one every single day, spending time with them is important. If you’re not seeing your partner frequently, try a weekly relationship activity to deepen your connection.
4. 4. Lack of emotional support: In a healthy relationship, both partners feel responsible for caring equally for one another. If you’re feeling exhausted or unfulfilled, it may be a sign that there’s an imbalance in the relationship. If that’s the case, learn how to introduce more reciprocity to your relationship.

Craving a little more intimacy? Grab a MasterClass Annual Membership and learn more about open communication with your partners, experimenting in the bedroom, and being your own best sexual advocate with a little help from Emily Morse (host of the wildly popular podcast Sex With Emily).