Dealing With Failure: Geno Auriemma’s Tips on Handling Failure

Luigi “Geno” Auriemma has had one of the most astounding coaching careers in women’s college basketball history. Born in Montella, Italy, Geno started off playing soccer. When he was seven, his family moved to Norristown, Pennsylvania, and he fell in love with baseball, which he played throughout high school. In his sophomore year of high school, he decided to join the basketball team as well.

His high school basketball coach, Buddy Gardler, made a lasting impression on Geno. While in college at West Chester University, Geno balanced his classes with coaching a high school girls’ basketball team in Wyncote, Pennsylvania, before going on to serve as an assistant coach and later a head coach for women’s college basketball teams.

Geno has gone on to win eleven national championships, two Olympic gold medals, and more than 1,000 games. However, it took ten years after Geno first became head coach for his team to win its first-ever national championship. “True winning is understanding [that] failure is the first step towards winning,” Geno says. “Failure will teach you how close you are to winning, and it will make you appreciate winning.”

Failure is a part of life; however, for some, failure can conjure such intense negative emotions that it can seem impossible to bounce back. Here are a few ways fear of failure can affect you:

1. 1. It can make goal-setting challenging. Failure is a learning experience. However, if you are afraid to make mistakes, you may avoid setting goals in your everyday life or at work because you think that past failures indicate you will once again fall short.
2. 2. It can make you doubt your skills. Fear of failure can affect your self-confidence, making it hard to complete tasks because you think you are not qualified or good enough.
3. 3. It can keep you from trying new things. If you already think you will fail, you may avoid trying new things. This type of fixed mindset means you may avoid risk-taking or doing anything that’s outside of your comfort zone, which can keep you from reaching your full potential.

Geno Auriemma’s career is evidence that even successful people deal with failure. Here are his tips on how to handle failure:

• Let go of perfection. Geno believes one of his biggest character flaws is his quest for perfection. “I’m not happy unless things are done perfectly, unless we achieve perfection, even while knowing it’s not possible,” he says.
• Enjoy the journey. As Geno’s teams became one of the best in college basketball, he began to focus on negative thoughts. “I [would] make up reasons why we’re gonna lose because it’s like nobody could win this much,” he says. “We have to lose at some point. So what ends up happening is you spend the whole season experiencing two things on a constant basis: misery when we lose… and just utter relief when [we] win. And it’s no way to live. [In 2021], I think I lived in that space, where I enjoyed winning. I enjoyed the process, and I wasn’t as miserable after we lost.” Geno tries to enjoy the moment by finding great restaurants where he and his team can share a meal and forget about the pressure.
• Make room for success. Failure can seem like the end of the world, but it shouldn’t define you. While Geno’s team has won almost as many championships as they’ve lost, he’s still a successful coach. “No one’s gonna remember the failure,” he says. “They’re gonna celebrate your success. So why do we envelop ourselves in this failure thing? If we keep approaching things with a fear of failure, [we] will have very few opportunities to celebrate success.”
• Celebrate small victories. Even if you’re struggling or have made missteps, you can still celebrate your hard work and the progress you’ve made. Geno does this by spotlighting individual players. “You might say, ‘By the way, I don’t know if you guys know this, but so-and-so and so-and-so, you guys were amazing last night. I was just really proud of the way you guys played last night,’” he says. “In essence, you’ve celebrated these two, but you’re giving the team a reason to celebrate, as well, and be happy for their teammates. That’s a little thing, but it goes a long way.”

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