Cunnilingus Guide: How to Perform Oral Sex on a Vulva Owner

Cunnilingus is an oral sex act performed on the vulva or vagina. The term “cunnilingus” derives from the Latin words cunnus (vulva) and lingere (to lick). During cunnilingus, the giving partner typically focuses on stimulating their partner’s clitoris, the most sensitive erogenous zone for vulva owners. Cunnilingus can serve as foreplay before other sexual activities or as the main sexual event.

Use these helpful tips to perform safer, pleasurable cunnilingus on a partner.

1. 1. Discuss STI status. Inquire about your partner’s STI (sexually transmitted infection) status and consider using a dental dam for extra protection. There is a risk of contracting STIs such as HPV through cunnilingus, but the risk is much lower than vaginal and anal sex.
2. 2. Know that every vulva is different. Be mindful that all vulvas (the external female genitalia including the clitoris, labia, and vaginal opening) are different. This means the smell, look, or taste of your partner's vulva may not be what you expect, and that's completely normal.
3. 3. Focus on the clitoris. Direct and consistent clitoral stimulation is the key to making your partner orgasm. To locate the clitoris, look for where the two inner labia (the vaginal lips) connect at the top and form a small hood. Use your fingers to spread the labia apart. Underneath the hood is the clitoris, which looks like a tiny nub, typically slightly larger than a pea in size.
4. 4. Start slow. A general rule for all sexual activities is to start slow and gradually increase the pace so that your partner has time to build up their level of arousal. Begin with slow, sensual licking. Before you target the clitoris, tease your partner and build suspense by lightly circling your tongue around the entire vulva area.
5. 5. Pay attention to body language. One of the best ways to tell if you're pleasing your partner is to tune into their body language. Heavy breathing and tilting their hips closer to your mouth are good signs. If your partner isn't showing signs of pleasure, switch up your technique with a slight variation in tongue pressure, pacing, or location.
6. 6. Encourage communication. Even easier than reading your partner's body language is listening to their own words. Let your partner know that you’re open to feedback, and feel comfortable asking questions mid-performance. Asking your partner about the pressure and speed is a great way to zero in on their pleasure.
7. 7. Use your fingers or a sex toy. For enhanced stimulation, insert your fingers or a sex toy (like a vibrator or dildo) into your partner's vagina while simultaneously licking their clitoris. Know that not everyone enjoys fingering during cunnilingus, so it's a good idea to discuss your partner's preferences before you give it a try.
8. 8. As your partner approaches orgasm, keep doing what you're doing. If your partner signals that they're close to climaxing, either verbally or through body language, don’t switch up your technique. Keep targeting the same spot until your partner orgasms or instructs you otherwise. (It may be okay to increase your tongue pressure or speed as your partner is approaching orgasm, but you should typically continue focusing on the same location.)

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