Chris Voss on How to Deal With a Liar

Chris Voss is an acclaimed businessman, author, and academic with twenty-four years of experience as a Federal Bureau of Investigation hostage negotiator. At the FBI, Chris led negotiations with some of the world’s most dangerous criminals in high-pressure situations. After receiving his bachelor’s degree from Iowa State University and a master’s in public administration from the John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University, he became a SWAT officer at the FBI’s Pittsburgh field office. He later became a lead crisis negotiator and a key player in the New York City Joint Terrorism Task Force.

After retiring in 2007, Chris joined the private sector and founded the Black Swan Group, a negotiation training and consulting firm dedicated to teaching people how to negotiate.

Chris Voss is a trained FBI hostage negotiator who has dealt with psychopaths and people with lying behaviors. Whether dealing with a person telling a white lie or an untruth with malicious intent, consider these tips from Chris:

1. 1. Learn the 7/38/55 rule. These numbers add up to one hundred and give negotiators a breakdown of importance in conversing with others: Seven percent is the dialogue, thirty-eight percent is tone, and fifty-five percent is body language (eye contact, fidgeting, posture in an uncomfortable situation). “The tone of voice is five times as important as the words that are spoken,” Chris says. “Does their delivery and body language line up with the content of the words being spoken? If one of those is out of line, which one am I going to expect to be the most reliable? I'm gonna look hard at body language and tone of voice when it's out of line with the words, and then I'm gonna use a label to identify their dynamic.”
2. 2. Spot the Pinocchio effect. If someone is a one-off or compulsive liar, they may show the Pinocchio effect. Chris describes this as when “someone uses more words than is necessary to give you an answer. If somebody's lying to you, they know they're lying, and they're worried about it. And consequently, they'll need to work harder to convince you.”
3. 3. Understand why people lie. Low self-esteem, mental conditions, and bad habits can all lead a person to lie. “What does it tell you about yourself if somebody's lying to you? First, it tells you they're scared to tell you the truth,” Chris says. “They perceive you as potentially being a threat. Now that doesn't mean that you are a threat, and that doesn't mean they should be afraid to tell you the truth. It tells you their assessment of the situation is that they've got their guard up.”
4. 4. Use a radio voice. When dealing with a liar, you might find it helpful to revert to a late-night FM DJ voice. “Use a voice that the other side finds reassuring,” Chris says. “You want to be steady; you want to be accountable. You want to show them that you're aware of their perspective and that you don't have a problem with it. You might not agree with it, but you don't necessarily have a problem with it. You continue to show them that you're worthy of them being unguarded, and they'll drop their guard.”

Pathological lying, also known as pseudologia fantastica or mythomania, can be a symptom of a mental disorder, such as antisocial personality disorder. If chronic lying adversely affects a family member's or friend's well-being, encourage them to seek professional help.

Learn more about negotiation strategies and communication skills from Career FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss. Perfect tactical empathy, develop intentional body language, and get better results every day with the MasterClass Annual Membership.