Attachment Theory: 4 Adult Attachment Styles

Attachment theory refers to British psychoanalyst John Bowlby’s evolutionary and psychological theory of how human beings form patterns of attachment. Bowlby’s theory analyzes the relationship between young children and their primary caregivers.

This fundamental early attachment supports personality development and is predictive of how people view others as attachment figures or someone with whom they can build an emotional bond. People with secure styles of attachment can develop healthy relationships with romantic partners throughout their lifespan.

In the 1960s and 1970s, US American-Canadian psychologist Mary Ainsworth built on John Bowlby’s theory of attachment behaviors and the work of other attachment theorists to introduce the concept of the secure base in early childhood development.

• Infant attachment: In the first year of life, during infant attachment, a child identifies a single person as a primary caregiver. The child will have one of three potential relationships with that person: secure attachment (in which the child’s needs are met), avoidant attachment (in which the child avoids the caregiver due to a lack of trust), and anxious attachment (in which the child fears abandonment because of inconsistent parenting).
• The Strange Situation: Ainsworth developed The Strange Situation laboratory to study behavioral systems in child development. In this procedure, psychologists observe how a child (between the ages of nine months and thirty months) behaves when their caretaker converses with a friend, conspicuously leaves the child with the friend, and then returns to the child. This process repeats a few times to gauge how well the child understands their secure attachment.
• Human development: The time children spend with their parents and the quality of that time are critical to developmental psychology and the ability to build secure relationships. If the primary attachment figure abandoned children or did not create a safe haven for them, the child might grow to have a fear of the unknown and greater insecurity. Establishing secure attachment at a young age is essential to emotional development and positive mental health.

Romantic relationships require emotional intimacy between secure people. Validation and encouragement will easily flow between the partners in healthy, intimate relationships. Securely attached people will be trusting, independently minded, and generous with their emotional availability.

A lack of trust or emotional availability between partners might signify insecure attachment styles. Change is possible for people with avoidant attachment styles. Psychotherapy and psychiatry are essential in rekindling weak attachment bonds, as are interventions in romantic and social relationships where dependency is toxic.

Early development will lead to different attachment styles in adulthood. Theorists have applied attachment research to close relationships in adults. Some adult attachment relationships include:

1. 1. Ambivalent attachment: People with attachment security anxiety, also known as ambivalent attachment or anxious-avoidant, are overly needy. They lack the self-esteem to fully trust themselves or their partner, leading to separation anxiety and constant worrying over secure attachment and loss of attachment.
2. 2. Dismissive-avoidant attachment: People with these attachment experiences steer away from emotional vulnerability and see closeness as a form of weakness. Those with this attachment-related issue will not rely on others but rather expect others to rely on them, creating an imbalance in a relationship.
3. 3. Disorganized attachment: Also known as disoriented or fearful-avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment might describe partners with difficulty regulating emotions who feel unworthy of affection. People who experience intense trauma, often sexual or physical abuse during childhood, might have a disorganized attachment. Therapy and a solid social network can help people with disorganized attachments.
4. 4. Secure attachment: A secure attachment system is the foundation of healthy adult relationships. In secure attachment styles, partners provide for the emotional needs of others without manipulation or abuse. They emotionally depend on each other while still having individual differences and interests. This balance helps support a meaningful relationship.

Developing relational intelligence and improving communication are essential to boost the quality of your personal and professional relationships. Discover Esther Perel’s approach to resolving conflict, having difficult conversations, and building trust when you sign up for a MasterClass Annual Membership.