Attachment Issues: 4 Signs of Attachment Issues in Adults

An attachment issue is a mental health condition in which a person has difficulty forming healthy relationships and emotional bonds with others. Attachment issues typically originate in early childhood. Parents and caregivers must provide infants with adequate care and fulfill needs to develop a healthy attachment style. Irregular or inconsistent care from family members and carers can lead to an insecure attachment style. Attachment problems can hamper future social interactions, leading to personality disorders and difficulty maintaining self-esteem.

Identifying attachment issues can illuminate why people behave a certain way and how they relate to others. Talking to a psychologist about attachment issues can affirm how past mistreatment influences behavior. Therapy can provide the tools and skills to form healthy bonds and work through past traumas.

Attachment issues broadly refer to people’s complex relationships with attachment, but attachment disorders speak explicitly to mental health disorders. Attachment issues are more common than attachment disorders. Typically, a healthcare provider diagnoses an attachment disorder when a child is between nine months and five years of age. There are several types of attachment disorders, including reactive attachment disorder (RAD). Symptoms of RAD include showing no response to comfort, failing to smile, and watching others but not engaging in social interactions.

Irregular parenting or poor parenting skills can cause attachment issues. By not regularly caring for their children or fulfilling their needs, parents or caregivers can cause childhood trauma. Children without adequate care struggle to form healthy emotional attachments to their caregivers and will grow up with a poor sense of self. Trauma can manifest as eating disorders, unruly behavior, and shutting down emotionally.

The foster care system can also lead to this mental health condition. Foster children who move from family to family may have difficulty trusting others and lack a sense of home.

Adult attachment issues have several symptoms. A person with attachment issues might display the following signs:

1. 1. Difficulty maintaining eye contact: Lacking eye contact can indicate discomfort with the self and others. Eye contact is a sign of trust and security.
2. 2. Impulsive behavior: Erratic behavior is one sign of attachment issues. People may jump to quick bonds with someone they want to be close with but then shun them if they feel they are not getting what they want in a relationship. Behavior can also lean toward violence, substance abuse, and mood swings.
3. 3. Inability to form adult relationships: Anxious attachment patterns can make it challenging for someone to form social bonds in adulthood, impacting friendships and romantic relationships.
4. 4. Low self-esteem: Growing up with a sense of abandonment can adversely impact a person’s self-confidence. People with attachment issues often have a poor sense of self.

There are three main types of insecure attachment styles:

1. 1. Ambivalent attachment: People with attachment security anxiety, also known as ambivalent attachment or anxious-avoidant, are overly needy. They lack the self-esteem to fully trust themselves or their partner, leading to separation anxiety and constant worrying over secure attachment and loss of attachment.
2. 2. Avoidant attachment: People with this attachment experience avoid emotional vulnerability and see closeness as a weakness. Those with this attachment-related issue will not rely on others but expect others to rely on them, creating an imbalance in a relationship.
3. 3. Disorganized attachment: Also known as disoriented or fearful-avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment might describe partners with difficulty regulating emotions who feel unworthy of affection. People who experience intense trauma, often sexual or physical abuse during childhood, might have a disorganized attachment. Therapy and a solid social network can help people with disorganized attachments.

Attachment issues can be challenging to overcome, but treatment options are available. Consider the following methods:

• Keep a journal. Writing down your feelings in a journal can help you understand them better. An emotions log can identify patterns and behaviors.
• Join a support group. You may also seek support groups to have a healthy outlet for discussing your feelings in a safe space with others who may empathize with your experience.
• Talk to loved ones. Try opening up to loved ones about your attachment issues. There is no shame in confiding these fears of abandonment, given the problematic histories that may have informed them, and letting others in is a way to build deeper bonds and work through trust issues.
• Try therapy. Family therapy is one option if you are still in touch with caregivers. Depending on age, adolescent psychiatry or sessions with a mental health professional in adulthood can be helpful.

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